AITA for ending a friendship after feeling emotionally used and constantly disrespected?
I’m currently dealing with a friendship fallout that’s getting messier by the day, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m in the wrong anymore.
I (20F) became close friends with another girl (20F) after we met through temp work last year. We got close really quickly, and after I found out her home life wasn’t great, I started letting her stay at my house whenever she needed somewhere to go. Over the course of our friendship, she stayed at mine around 10 times while I only stayed at hers once.
A few weeks ago, I was completely socially drained and told her I needed space because I get overwhelmed easily. She begged to come over anyway because she didn’t want to be home and literally told me she “didn’t care” that I was drained. I eventually gave in because I felt guilty.
While she was over, she ignored multiple polite requests from me and kept responding rudely until I eventually snapped. She started crying and said she’d leave if I was “going to be rude,” and I told her that was probably best since I’d already said I needed space. After leaving, she messaged my mum telling her I was being cruel, which caused issues at home for me too.
Things only got worse after that. She sent me a vaping/lung disease reel even though she knows I’m actively trying to quit nicotine. Every time I’ve tried to quit in the past, she’s made comments about how she could “just stop anytime” while I needed Nicorette.
The final blow happened the same day I attended a hospital pelvic pain program for chronic pain I’ve had for years. That night she sent me a massive message saying I’m a terrible friend, never support her, and always make things about myself. Apparently when I try relating to her experiences by sharing my own, she sees it as me “competing” with her trauma.
I responded calmly and explained my side, but also said I wished we could’ve had the conversation another day because I was already overwhelmed emotionally and physically. She replied saying she wasn’t going to read my response and that I either had to fully accept everything she said without discussion or leave the friendship.
I told her adult friendships require communication, not one person talking while the other stays silent. She refused to discuss anything, so I ended the friendship.
Since then, she’s apparently been messaging old coworkers about me and even tried contacting my boyfriend to say horrible things about me.
At this point I’m exhausted and honestly questioning whether I handled any of this correctly.
P.s. Sorry if this all over the shop, been trying to figure out how to write it the right way and this is what I’ve put together since it happened.