u/Imaginary_Ad5475

Hey. I wonder if anyone has any advice please.

I jave brain lesions which affects many aspects of my life.

I swim 3x a week, between 50-100 lengths.

A new brain lesions though has affected my continence, and I leak urine throughout the day and night. There is no way to stop it as it's the brain that is messing up the processes needed to make voiding possible, so medication etc is not an option.

I leak about 200ml during the day at probably 30 minute intervals, and about the same overnight.

I swim in a chlorinated pool.

I haven't swum since this started. Plenty of people say the outward pressure of the water stops the incontinence, but I need real life experience before I can realistically get in and try. I will not subject other people to swimming in my urine (regardless of what is already in there), chlorine or not, I just won't do it.

Does anyone have any relevant experience that may help me please?

Thanks.

I've been seeing my therapist for 18 months. Trust has been a huge issue, so it's taken me a while to trust her.

But things could have gone so differently if she were a different person. Trust was built slowly, and there were a few key skills she has that made it possible for me to come back each week.

1. she doesn't react. If I'm sharing something difficult she is totally neutral. She doesn't raise an eyebrow, show disgust, look shocked, nothing. If she had done any of these in the first year, I have interpreted it as my fault: I'm too much, This isn't suitable, I've said too much, This is something I shouldn't be speaking about, etc etc. I am so grateful she never reacted.

2. she doesn't rush me. I am talking about things I have never talked about before. I haven't put words to it before, and sometimes it takes me a while to find the right word. Or sometimes it's difficult and I freeze. Her tone never changes, that's all I hear is 'you're doing really well, there's no rush, take your time'. I'm so glad she doesn't fill those silences, or I would be back to square one and have to start the process again.

3. lastly, she let's me breathe. I don't need to worry about fiddling with something or doing origami while I'm talking or using a fidget or anything. I don't need to explain when I take a sip of water, whether it's because my mouth has tried or I need it to ground myself. She just doesn't care about side things.

They are I suppose, soft skills. But between them,she has made it possible for me to show up every week. When I first went to her, I lied about the reason I was there, I needed to talk to her first. I'd rung her registration board to make sure she was up to date, I had researched her online as much I could. I was terrified. 18 months later, I'm still going back, and now I feel safe because she waits, let's me breathe and doesn't react to anything. That's an impressive skill set. :)

I jaut had a session today, and it was hard. Emotionally very tough. But I was jaut thinking about how much more difficult it could be.

I've been seeing my therapist for 18 months. Trust has been a huge issue, so it's taken me a while to trust her.

But things could have gone so differently if she were a different person. Trust was built slowly, and there were a few key skills she has that made it possible for me to come back each week.

1. she doesn't react. If I'm sharing something difficult she is totally neutral. She doesn't raise an eyebrow, show disgust, look shocked, nothing. If she had done any of these in the first year, I have interpreted it as my fault: I'm too much, This isn't suitable, I've said too much, This is something I shouldn't be speaking about, etc etc. I am so grateful she never reacted.

2. she doesn't rush me. I am talking about things I have never talked about before. I haven't put words to it before, and sometimes it takes me a while to find the right word. Or sometimes it's difficult and I freeze. Her tone never changes, that's all I hear is 'you're doing really well, there's no rush, take your time'. I'm so glad she doesn't fill those silences, or I would be back to square one and have to start the process again.

3. lastly, she let's me breathe. I don't need to worry about fiddling with something or doing origami while I'm talking or using a fidget or anything. I don't need to explain when I take a sip of water, whether it's because my mouth has tried or I need it to ground myself. She just doesn't care about side things.

They are I suppose, soft skills. But between them,she has made it possible for me to show up every week. When I first went to her, I lied about the reason I was there, I needed to talk to her first. I'd rung her registration board to make sure she was up to date, I had researched her online as much I could. I was terrified. 18 months later, I'm still going back, and now I feel safe because she waits, let's me breathe and doesn't react to anything. That's an impressive skill set. :)

I jaut had a session today, and it was hard. Emotionally very tough. But I was jaut thinking about how much more difficult it could be.