this is the first time I’ve ever posted anything on Reddit or really any social site on this matter so it’s kind of strange. I’ll try to be brief but my wife and I are struggling with our 20 yr old daughter and looking for helpful advice. we’ve talked to lots of friends that know us and the advice has been mixed so I thought I’d try something different. we have provided a very safe, easy, loving, supportive, encouraging, etc. environment for her over the years and paying for her very expensive college, therapy, gave her a car and paying all those expenses, gave her a credit card she could use for gas and needed expenses (we get the bill) and have shown her nothing but love and support. despite all this, we have caught her in numerous lies and she continually shows disrespect towards us. she’s coming home for the summer and my wife and I decided to establish some basic ground rules like getting up by 10am (she’ll sleep till 1 or 2pm often), she needs to get a summer job, and we may randomly do a marajuana test (she takes Zoloft and should not be taking any form of THC). She’s obviously super angry with us, but we feel like if we don’t set some ground rules, it’s both a safety issue as well as we aren’t being very good parents by just letting her come and go as she pleases. I realize our issues may seem small in the grand scheme of life and there are certainly way more challenging situations out there but just trying to get some perspective. I’m sure she’d rather live with friends somewhere but without a job or income and living in So Cal, that’s just not possible. Curious to hear feedback.
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