4 year old refuses to potty train
I really don’t know what to do anymore. I’m at my wits end. My almost 4.5 year old will not potty train. I have a 3 month old and I’m tired of changing diapers on a kid who is perfectly capable of using a toilet. He used to be in daycare and they began potty training him when he was 1.5. They didn’t push until he was about 2.5 when he got a new teacher who required preschoolers to wear underwear regardless of their potty training status. He would come home everyday with at least 3 sets of soiled clothes. The rule in the classroom was if they soiled themselves, they had to help change themselves. We ended up moving when he turned 3 and now he goes to a part time preschool. The preschool allows pull-ups for 3-4 year olds and requires the kids at least try to go on the toilet several times during the day. My son will bypass the potty line and just go wash his hands despite the teacher telling him not to. We’ve tried everything and I’ve talked to his pediatrician who just said he would do it eventually but I really don’t think he will. It’s embarrassing and I feel like a crappy parent. Worst of all, I feel alone in this despite having a spouse and family members who watch him during the week. I’m the one doing the research and buying the different potties and coming up with the plans and getting the pee smell out of clothes and furniture when those plans fail. Now I have a deadline. He has to be potty trained by the start of the school year in September or he will not be allowed to attend.
Those of you with strong willed children, what worked for them?