r/pottytraining

Fellow dads, I need your opinions and advice.

My 3yr old son was potty-trained this spring, and he does really well going to the toilet on his own during the day, but he gets the bed every single night, without fail. He had a couple dry nights early on, so we thought it would pass, but it's a nightly occurrence now. My wife and I have been kicking around doing pull-ups at night, and regular underwear during the day like we have been, but are worried about undoing his potty training somehow.

Any experience with this scenario? Did the half-step back to pull-ups at night work or hurt? Thanks, fellas

I have 1 child, 2years and 4 months old. Not sure at all what the ins and outs are on potty training. Currently he still wears diapers.

He loves showers, and wants to take a shower 1-2 times daily. Through getting showers he has discovered peeing in the shower (lol) and currently we have leaned into that. In the mornings when I get up to pee I stand him in the shower and tell him to pee and he usually does. He has done it a handful of times throughout the day too, but nothing consistent, he definitely still pees in his diaper too.

He definitely is not ever telling us when he has to poop and always poops in his diaper unless I catch him mid-act and sprint him to the toilet. He goes to a dayhome (unlicensed) with a bunch of other kids of various ages so I can only expect her to do so much. I told her about the shower thing and she tried that on Friday but said he didn't do it for her. But she said she doesn't care if thats where he wants to pee and will continue to try it when she can when he is there.

We also have a few pairs of thicker underwear that we put on him when he is just at home with us for hours or most of the day, so that if he does decide to pee and not tell us, that he gets the "wet" feeling and understands he needs to go *not* in his pants.

Is this normal/fine/a good tactic? Obviously this is my first rodeo so I dont want to teach him something "bad" that will make it harder for us in the end, but wondering if this is a good first step for his age? Advice, tips and tricks welcome.

My toddler was potty trained in March using the Oh Crap method. He did really well, only wears diapers at night now. However, he has been having issues pooping - he will go a while with no issues and then will fight with all his might to not poop. He very clearly has to poop and will even say “I need to go poo” but when we bring him to go he will say NOOOO I don’t want to !! and we end up spending the entire day on and off the toilet interrupting meals, overtaking outings and sometimes even preventing us from doing things because he holds it and then needs it so urgently. He has had several accidents because of this but it is frustrating because he knows when he has to go and just refuses. He says it doesn’t hurt and it’s not scary just he “doesn’t want to”. It’s driving us absolutely insane and it’s been on and off for MONTHS I need help how to break this cycle I feel like we’ve tried everything.

ETA he doesn’t seem to be constipated his poops look normal and he doesn’t strain he is just choosing to hold it in.

Should I try to potty train before our 2nd baby comes? Or should I wait until my toddler is older? We have never attempted potty training other than setting a potty out so she knows what it is and looking at potty books. A handful of times when she was 18 months I tried to sit her on the potty and she protested so I dropped it. She also has a severe speech delay but does great with signs.

We’re on Day 3 of potty training with a modified 3 Day method. We’re still going with no underwear and she’s getting most pees in the toilet with a few misses (no poops just yet).

We do pull ups for naps and bedtime.

She’s back to daycare tmw. Should we bring her in with pulls up and continue potty training after school? We haven’t tried with underwear just yet.

Looking for tips and advice!

Baby is 12 months old. We've been regularly EC'ing since 6 months old.

Catch many pees with the easy catches. Still miss a lot of random pee's throughout the day. When he is on the potty I sign language potty to him, and do the pss sound.

CANNOT catch poops. Zero signs. Zero pattern. We ven did diaper free time now that its nice out, and he just poops out of the blue. I miss seeing it happen if im reading for example, or hes sitting playing, he just gets up then I see the poop on the ground. No sign or signals whatsoever that it happened.

Lately he's been pooping at least 2 times per day.

How can I catch poops and get to the next step? Is next step to just ditch the diapers all together? Or what should I do next?

Today would be day 4 of training. He honestly did really well the first 3. We got a poop on the potty day 2 and most pees in the potty on day 2 and first half of 3. We took an outing day 3 in afternoon and he peed his underwear twice but did tell us potty and we just missed it. Well he spent all night up last night due to neighbors setting off mortars and woke up horrendously crabby. Wouldn’t sit on potty just asked for diaper. Peed on the floor twice and then pooped in a pull-up. Refuses to sit on potty. Do we need to take a break?

For reference - he doesn’t really tell us he needs to go that often. We just plop him on the potty every 1-2 hours. A few times he will tell us he had to pee or potty.

We have been in the thick of it for over 6 months, kiddo turned 3 in May. I am planning on taking all pull-ups away and using puppy pads on the bed as he waits for the nap/night pull up to relieve himself. I’ll need to use miralax so he doesn’t get constipated.

I’ll try to catch him in the moment so he stops associating the feeling of being covered with releasing pee/poo. Instead of bribes (don’t work) taking things away until he sits or goes on the potty. Ie- can’t leave the house to do fun stuff, can’t have treats or tv until we’re going on the potty.

Does this sound right for my strong willed kiddo?

We have a 2.5 week vacation coming up in a month. I know the pull ups are what are holding us back, but I really don’t see him being ready for travel in a month.

I think it will be a wait and see sort of thing? With maybe a pull up over underpants on the plane and bus ? Or museums?

In the past I’ve had to go back to pulls ups during outings because I was loosing my mind and really not in a good place. We were pant-less at home for a week and have done this multiple times. I’m lucky to have the time, I just need some camaraderie and support to feel less alone in this.

I’m at the point where I’m redoing my bathroom so it’s a nicer place to hang out, he has a potty watch, a chart of steps, potty steps/seat, a small living room potty, what am I missing ? 😅

I am at my wits end with my nearly 3.5 girl who’s verbally advanced but cannot tell me when she needs a pee . She has no issues with sitting on the potty and peeing if I tell her to go or wearing undies .. can stay dried at night and wear undies during naps . We have been having multiple accidents because she doesn't tell me and relies on me .. she is also scared of pooing in the potty and still needs a diaper for that .. she has A good diet full of veggies and fibers etc does it mean she is behind

We started potty training our 3 & 1/2 year old daughter months ago. She was doing really well, hardly any accidents and was going on her own without timers.

Then she started having accidents more and more frequently. And refusing to get on the potty a lot of the time. She is supposed to be starting preschool in the fall and has to be potty trained to attend.

Her regression started probably 2 months ago and we’re just so tired. She has 2 older siblings and we now have a 2 week old baby. So major life change certainly is part of the issue we think.

How do we get her back to a good rhythm of going potty? She’s been so resistant. Any tips or suggestions would be much appreciated!

4 year old refuses to poop on potty with a bare butt. Pees with no issues on potty. Physically aware of when he needs to poop. He absolutely has to have a pull up on or he will withhold his poop. Will never poop in underwear, has to be the pull-up. I am seriously at my wits end. He is starting pre-K in the fall and I can’t do this anymore. I am terrified of him getting constipated so I ultimately give in and now it’s causing problems between me and my husband. What can I do?! Just let him hold it until it hurts when he poops? Like seriously, I feel like that would just be even worse!

Hello!

I’m trying to potty train my newly 18 month old. I have read the Oh Crap! Potty Training book and trying to follow along. I know my girl is absolutely capable of this. I just started to try today.

The problem I’ve run into is that she is afraid to release her pee. She holds her pee for hours, and will cry when any comes out. She won’t release on the potty at all. I’ve tried letting her blow bubbles, blow out candles, putting her feet in warm water, nursing her, and reading books for her (ALL done while she sat on her potty.)
I’ve even tried to offer her to use the big potty in the bathroom. She will sit down and make the pee pee sound with her mouth, and say “done” and get up pretty much within 30 seconds.

She will do the pee-pee dance, grab her genitals, and I can see her belly is full. But she won’t go pee! She will sometimes release when standing but she will cry and get scared and run to me.

I don’t mind if she pees on the floor while we are still in the beginning and learning, so I just try say “You pee-peed! Pee pee is for the potty. Good job. Next time let’s go pee pee in the potty!” Or something like that.

I know she’s capable and I’m 100% involved and willing to do what it takes to help her get this. I’m hoping to have her trained for bed time and naps as well, and also for poops. I have training undies, regular undies, cloth diapers, and disposable diapers all at the ready. I use the Baby Bjorn little potty.

I’m really in need of wisdom, advice, tips, anything really. Am I missing something?

Thanks in advance!

my 27 month old is on day 5 of Oh Crap and he’s doing GREAT. I can tell that he is having some constipation today because he didn’t poop at all and he’s been tooting a lot. We were driving in the car when he announced he needed to use the potty so we pulled over and sat on the travel potty, he let out a big ol fart and then was pushing a bit more but no solids came. That happened a few more times through the evening, farts and straining but no solids.

Anyway, the last 2 or 3 nights he has discovered that “i have to go potty” is a trump card to get out of bed after bed time. He does have a diaper on for overnights but he’s kept the overnight diaper dry for the last couple nights as well. He’ll get on the potty and then just be playing around so I pick him up and put him back to bed to great protest. Tonight he was crying and begging to go to the potty.

So I am struggling with where to draw the line between encouraging him to listen to his body and holding bedtime boundaries. What makes it harder is that I know his belly seems to be bugging him tonight so I feel like I should let him have free potty access but then again he is taking advantage because he was doing this the last couple nights when I know he had good pees and poos shortly before bed time. Despite having the overnight diaper on, he has not been using it because he’s very enthusiastically taking to the potty.

Doing the Oh Crap method with a 25-month-old over the long weekend.

I totally understand and was prepared for 4 days not being enough but was anticipating some progress that we and the daycare could work with on Monday.
Today is day 3 and we have ZERO progress.
She does not mind sitting on the potty (so not afraid of it), loves her potty books and follows parents into the bathroom with enthusiasm.
She also has a clear “pi-pi dance” so I can see when she needs to go and would take her to potty, she would sit on it for a bit and then get up and pee on the floor.
When I transfer her to the potty mid-action, she immediately stops and won’t go for some time.
Other than the 2 times she miraculously went on day 1, our potty is pristine clean, not a drop goes in.

The book says there is no such thing as a 2 y/o “not being ready” and I saw negative stories of parents giving up and trying again later with even less success (if it’s even possible in our case) but I am out of wit on how to motivate her to put together potty-sitting with peeing. Won’t even get started on poop.

She goes to daycare and we go to work so we cannot just do permanent “block 1” until it finally works so looking for alternative methods for families where Oh Crap just did not work and you did it over a longer time on a “part-time basis” (with pull-ups or whatever worked). Also open to rewards-based approaches but right now there is no action to actually reward yet so can’t even do that.

FINALLY seeing some results with potty training!

I’m over the moon. So damn proud of her. Just had to share something positive for those who are in the same boat with their toddlers right now.

MY 3 YEAR OLD FINALLY WENT PEE IN THE TOILET. This is huge for us. We have been struggling hard with potty training. I thought I screwed up. Felt like a failure for not having her potty trained before 3. After a crazy day of two pee accidents, and one poo accident, she asked to go pee in the toilet and ACTUALLY DID. She went AGAIN that night before bed. Incredible.
Husband and I were actually freaking out and I think we scared her a bit with our excitement. Lol

If you are going through hell with your 3 year old too, keep going. Try all the things. We tried all the stuff. It wasn’t until I asked my husband to grab some Hershey kisses at the store and decided to use them as a reward for going in the potty, that something really clicked with her. Bribery is great, folks! 😂
Don’t get discouraged if the progress isn’t linear. Don’t give up if they have multiple accidents in one day. Everyday will be different until they really get it and become consistent.

You’ve got this 👍🏻

I’m in a power struggle with my toddler who will not pee for hours and hours, but also isn’t having accidents. Is this an issue?

When I prompt, she says she doesn’t have to and wiggles away and cries if I try to put her on potty. I literally can’t “make” her, she’ll bend her body and not sit. I am not overprompting. But, for example, she hasn’t peed yet this morning so I have been asking her. She had a dry diaper overnight and had been awake for about 2 hours so we’re going on like 14hours? Yesterday, she didn’t pee between probably 2-3pm until just before bed at 8pm. She will agree before we go out and before bed, but no other time. When she’s initiated in the past few days, it’s been for a poo (and has also peed), but hasn’t pee-initiated.

I’m peeing like 2-3 times in these windows where she isn’t at all. She’s drinking plenty of water. It can’t be good for her? But she also hasn’t wet herself, maybe I just need to trust her more, maybe she’s just a camel?

5.5yo boy keeps peeing the bed routinely despite no pull-ups, no fluids in evening, going potty before bed, and being potty trained in day. We have him clean himself and his bedding but it isn’t helping. Advice?

My kid will be 5 in October and he still is not pooping in the potty. We have tried absolutely everything and I am at a complete loss at what to do. He was super late to potty training in general didn't fully pee train until January. But has yet to poop minus like 3 times where we were half holding him on the potty as it was coming out his butt and we wanted it to go in the potty it wasn't ideal for sure. But we have sticker charts, food reinforcement, told him he can get a toy, let him use a phone on the toilet to distract, played him songs and shows about going poop on the potty, went back to pull ups which backfired because then he wanted to pee in them, there is probably more things we have tried that I can't even think of at this moment. But he consistently poops in his underwear. He knows when he has to go as his latest thing is wanting to go into his room where he won't let us in until he poops in his underwear. So we tried the training potty in there but nope. He says he is scared but pees just fine consistently since becoming pee trained in there so I'm at a 100% total loss. Thankfully daycare isn't forcing anything and he doesn't go to kindergarten for another year but I really want this poop issue to be resolved so badly. Any ideas are welcome please and thank you!!

My husband and I are at our wits end trying to figure out how to get our 4 1/2 year old to stop wetting her panties.

She’s been pooping in the potty since she was 2 1/2. Getting her to do that was easy. When she got that down we thought that going potty was just around the corner. We quickly realized once we started moving from pull ups to panties that she was constantly having little leaks throughout the day. It’s up for debate whether she knows she’s doing it or not. Sometimes she says she knows she needs to go potty but just holds it and other times she says she doesn’t know. We don’t know what to believe.

I’m talking every time she goes to the potty her panties are damp or quite wet. She doesn’t seem to care that she’s wet at all. I don’t know that she knows what it feels like to be dry.

We’ve tried positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, more hands off to let her be responsible, timers, we just don’t know what to do.

She has a kidney reflux condition which caused her to have a couple UTIs very young and so she has a pediatric urologist. They want to rule out constipation as being the cause so we’ve got her on laxatives to get her cleared out. She’s had scans of her abdomen which did show that she is a little backed up - her next scan is in August.

Has anyone else had this kind of problem? What worked for you?

tldr: 2.5 year old now afraid of big toilet, doesn’t want to try and screams and cries when we sit him on it. Take a break and then try again on toddler potty?

We’re on day 2 of potty training 2.5 year old. For about a year we’ve had a flip down toddler seat on one toilet and a ladder seat on another and toddler had peed a handful of times (otherwise just wanted to sit). We decided to take the big step to starting training over this 3 day weekend (he’s in daycare full time otherwise), and he was excited about the total of underwear, being a big boy, learning to use the potty like Elmo in the book. We decided on underwear and sticker chart. Yesterday morning (day 1) we discovered he pees in small spurts and had 5 accidents within about 3 hours. Then we caught him early enough in one to do the rest on the potty, did one by himself and another midstream. Then he had nap and didn’t want to use the toilet the rest of the day (I put him on it anyway, he’d calm down but still only accidents). Today (day 2) he did NOT WANT underwear but we did it anyway. Didn’t put him in shorts because it seemed like it was a little faster for him and us to notice him peeing. Sitting on the toilet has been a fight all day and even when we sing songs or read books he doesn’t want to try peeing when we get him on it. I’ve been watching him and haven’t noticed any signs of needing to pee. He sometimes looks down at his privates when he starts peeing but most of the time it just happens. Pooping there is a very clear signal but I’ve sat with him the whole time and there’s no signal he needs to pee. I don’t think he knows his pee signs.

His strong resistance makes me think that he’s not ready and maybe we need to stop for now since he goes back to daycare in two days and will need to be back in pull-ups for that time. We are wondering if we should get a toddler potty and make another attempt in 2 to 3 weeks and just try to nail down the act of peeing in a potty instead of in a pull-up and then we can work on any potential fear of the big toilet? Is 2 to 3 weeks enough of a break? We don’t have another three day weekend until two months from now so we are going to have to start again on a regular two day weekend and continue after daycare each day.