As the title says, I just found out my sister had cancer, and I don't care.
For some back story, she is 11 years older than me and is my half-sister biologically. Our mom had she in her teen years and did an amazing job doing what she could as a teen mom.
But anyways, there had always been hostility between us from as long as I can remember. She used to tell my parents that they treated me differently than her. ( I mean, you can't treat a 3 yo and a 14 yo the same) even tho she treated me awful growing up, I still always wanted to be around her, and in ways I idolized my older sister. When my little brother came around, she adored him. Years passed, and she started having kids of her own. And I thought we really started to bond. I wanted to be around her kids and her, but definitely looking back, I think she thought of me more as a babysitter than anything else. Her kids loved me and, if often, be called their mom in public by strangers.
As I got older and older, she would criticize every little thing I did.
Once I got dumped and I called my sister crying as one does, and she answered the phone but didn't even listen to me, just said youll get over it.
She blamed me for the death of our little brother, which she claims she never did.
She tried to blame me for the death of our mother,
Blamed me for how awful her life was.
I cut her off 10 years ago when I moved 2 provinces away.
Only spoke to her when I came back for a visit after my daughter was born. But she quickly turned against me again after I went home.
I am not perfect in these situations either, I would judge her for the way she raised her kids, her home was always filthy, Tim Hortons cups all over the place filled with cigarette butts, moldy pizza boxes, sink filled with moldy dirty dishes. Making her oldest deal with her siblings and practically raise them. I did and have called cps on her multiple times.
And she turned her kids against me.
Her daughter even asked me to call because her home life had gotten so bad.
But again I cut my sister off. Not blocked but deleted off everything, and my family didn't share anything about me with her.
She tried to reach out once, but made herself the victim and ultimately decided "she didn't want me in her life" whatever..
Now I get a message stating she "had/has colon cancer" and I don't care, part of me honestly thinks she deserves it. I don't know what stage or anything else. I don't want to know.
I didn't bloody care, I haven't had a single conversation with her in 7 + years. I don't want anything to do with her.
Part of me feels awful, that I don't care, because it is an awful thing to happen, unless they caught it early enough her kids will most likely lose their mom. Which is so sad. Alot of things have been going on in my life. Good and bad, but my bfs family has been my main support for the last 5 + years. My bf didn't even know I had a sister for the first 2 years we were together because i don't bring her up. The only people Ive really talked to about this with is my bf who says my feelings are valid and I don't need to have her around if I don't want to. And my dad who also agrees that I may be a little heartless but not an asshole for how I feel. I am planning on talking to my doctor about getting checked. I had been for a while anyways since colon cancer has been in the rise, bur idk if you can when your pregant. So I'll have to talk to her about that.
Idk if this post if really just me trying to get this off my chest, or asking if I'm an asshole. I guess I just wanted an outsiders opinion on the matter.
Sorry for the Rants and thank you for any feed back.