Unknowingly had a group friendship breakup after weeks of ignoring me
Hi Reddit, I apologise in advance for any mistakes/ if i've written too much as this is my first time posting and I don't want to miss out too much info. I (18F) have had my friend group of Summer, Robin, and Star (all F) across 2-5 years.
For some background info, i think I've developped over the years to become a kinder and more considerate person and friend, which my friends have all witnessed.However, one of my flaws is that when i get overwhelmed after long periods of socialisation with stress, i tend to shutdown and avoid talking because I get upset. This has been increasingly common - maybe once every couple of months - this year because of exam and school stress. Last year, i used to be part of a few different friend groups as I like lots of things about different people, and I found it helps to talk with another group if I'm upset at another group (usually for no reason except from being overwhelmed).
Anyway, Robin basically confronted me and told me she found one of the friend groups a bad influence as they didn't respect me (though there is some previous drama with her and some of the girls in that group), and that she felt she didn't matter to me, so I listened and started spending lots more time with our group. As a results, I lost most of my contact with the other group and lots of my other friends.
Since 2-3 months ago and during study leave though, they pretty much completely avoided me unless i spoke directly to them (usually weird as they're quite outgoing and would usually reach out to me). i thought it was just because of exam stress and because i haven't been spending as much time with them as i mostly stayed home. Not wanting my friendships to dissolve, i started putting more effort in having conversations and talking with all 3 (not much results from Robin and Summer).
Anyway, today i talked to Star, who started initiating conversations after a few days, and she admitted that Summer and Robin have been upset at me for a while without telling me the specifics. I'm pretty sure it's because of my shutting down (which I get as I also get upset at them for their behaviour). But what i don't understand is the entire friend group just deciding i'm not worth talking to/ fixing this with even though i've shown that I listen to criticism, try to change, and have changed a lot over time.
It's been for such a long period of time that i don't think it's a 'cool down'. it just feels like a betrayal of trust, and like they don't value our friendship. I didn't realise how hard it hit me until i started crying after, and i couldn't bear to look at either of them.
I just don't know if i can get over this. Summer has been one of my closest friends for 4 years and Robin for 2, in which i've listened to and given advice for their relationships, thoughts/ beliefs, and choices. I don't know if it i'm a bad friend, though i think it would be easier at that point because that's something that i can fix, compared to my friends just not valuing our friendship.
Sorry for making such a long post, I just don't know what to do/ how to feel and i just feel so alone. (also i know it seems like a long time for not talking but we had holidays and study leave so we wouldn't talk each day either way)