I'm 17, am almost one year clean after a really hard year (may second is my anniversary). I am open about this and a friend of mine (Let's call them X) know that I used to sh.
The Background: I am going to an artschool, when I went for a trial day there, I met X, and we bonded over our love for art and autism and adhd. they finished the year, but rejoined in late October.
after a while I noticed that everytime I talked with them and friends I always felt so dragged down afterwards.At first I thought it was maybe the group dynamic, but its dedthem who drag down the mood. They constantly talked about how they were sa'd and bullied and how bad they have it at home. Don't get me wrong, venting is fine, but constantly talking about it, just makes me relive my traumatic past. I distanced myself and hung out with my best friend instead.
Today in school they, two other friends who are not that relevant and I hung out and ate lunch. I mentioned I'm almost 1 year clean, which I am very proud of. I and the other friends know that X struggles with their mental health and that they scratch themselves, especially when they have panic attacks. Today X mentioned They developed a cutting problem and they cut themselves with shards of glass. And they said that as if they were proud of that.
It is incredibly triggering for me to see someone with fresh cuts, and talking about the cutting and "oh how they've been clean since yesterday. Like no. Your wounds barely scabbed over, wtf. Na im also starting to compare our misery, which is bad.
They never take responsibility for they mental health. They constantly traumadump and I just came handle that. All my other friends dont just treat me like a therapist and its an actual conversation about our experiences. I hate that I am treated like that
They dont want to get better. They live off of pity and absorbing themselves in their own misery. They dont want help, any attempt at giving them advice fails and gets shut down and I am tired of this crap. I already distanced myself from them, but we are still in the same class and we have mutual friends. I am thinking about texting them and telling them their misery drags me down.
I grew wings to leave the tar pit that is my past behind and I am not going back, ruining my feathers, for someone who is up to the head covered. I need to save myself before going back to this dark place I never want to revisit.
What am I supposed to do?