Stuck between wanting a 2nd baby and wishing I never had my first
My 1.5 year old daughter is rarely content. She’s always screaming/ groaning, trying to push/ pull me around, and on a constant mission to get in trouble at best, and cross the rainbow bridge at worst. She’s very demanding, ornery, and hyper independent, while also being insanely attached to me. Her dad wishes he could help more but he works 60 hours/ week and she won’t let him even attempt to comfort her (he tries but always pisses her off worse).
Before we had our daughter we wanted 3-4 kids, and we planned on starting to try for our second in 3 months, which is 2 months before her 2nd birthday. But sometimes I genuinely don’t think I can handle it. Hell, I can’t even handle THIS! I can never get anything done around the house anymore and her screaming is like nails on a chalkboard. It gets to the point where I think about how satisfying it would feel to bash my head into the countertop. Instead I settle for covering my ears and crying.
I’ve tried a few different prescriptions and they helped with the rage but the side effects sucked. I feel so selfish for wanting more children even though I’m worried my inability to self regulate will fuck them up for life. Basically I just want to know if it gets better? Are there any “hacks” to get through it easier? Or am I just not meant to be a mom??