TLDR; guy started off super strong, then got inconsistent with communication and planning. we talked, he said all the right things and agreed to exclusivity, but the very next day showed the same behavior again. not sure if i should give it time or walk away.
okay so i (25f) have started seeing this guy (32m) for the past 3–4 weeks. i want to preface that i am looking for something long term. anyways, our first date was amazing and we got along very very well. we decided during that first date that we would see each other again the following weekend, but after two days he told me he missed me and wanted to see me again. so we ended up seeing each other about five consecutive days straight leading up to that next planned date.
we did sleep together during this first week, but there were also days where we didn’t and would just have normal dates. we have a lot of chemistry and our conversations in person have been great.
after that first week of seeing each other every day, i talked to him and told him that i prefer to have a set plan instead of just spontaneous hangouts throughout the week. he agreed with me, but i feel like that’s when things started to shift.
he’s not the biggest texter in general, but after that conversation he was only texting me about 1–4 times a day and not really continuing conversation. two days passed and he still hadn’t asked when i was free next, so i asked him “hey have you decided if you want to see me again?” he said yes and we made a plan to see each other on a sunday.
i asked him if he wanted to go to a local festival together and he asked what time because he said he would be out of town the day before and didn’t know if he’d be back in time. we picked a time, and then the day comes and he tells me he’s having car problems and can’t make it.
i just said “okay,” but at that point i decided his communication style really wasn’t for me. so i sent him a message saying i didn’t think we aligned in dating and tried to end things.
his response was “ok (my name), i enjoyed every second we spent together.” for some reason i replied, and he basically begged me to just talk in person and said he really wanted to see me again. i called him and we talked, and i told him i need to know his intentions and that i need better communication. he said he does see a future with me and wants to keep getting to know me for something long term.
he ended up coming over to talk in person. this might be tmi, but we did end up having sex and it felt more intimate than before. after that, we had a conversation about exclusivity. he asked if that would make me feel better and i said yes, but asked what that meant to him. he basically said he’d do whatever i wanted, and we agreed that meant we’re not seeing or talking to other people and obviously not sleeping with others. he agreed to that. i also asked him to share his location with me and he did. he told me he likes me a lot, which he said is a big deal for him.
then he told me he was going to another state the next day for work and had to leave early, so he left my house.
the next day i text him good morning, tell him to have a safe trip, we have a short conversation, and that’s it. a few hours later i go to send him something and see that his location is still in our city. this instantly annoyed me because i don’t understand how we literally just talked about communicating better and he chose not to tell me his plans changed.
so now i just feel stuck. when we’re together everything feels really good and easy, but when we’re not i feel like i’m questioning things or getting annoyed by the lack of communication. i don’t need constant texting, but i do need consistency and to feel considered.
am i expecting too much this early on, or is this just a sign that we’re not aligned in how we date?