I (16M) broke up with my girlfriend (16M) because my religious parents told me to
Hi.
I met someone someday.
A girl. She was kind, lovely and a lover. We loved each other. We were there when one of us couldn't stand. I was there for her when she was disappointed of herself and so did she for me. We wanted to build a home. We knew that we were different in so many ways, but we choose to stay together however the differences.
But, she's not religious. And I am. For her, it was just an other difference that doesn't matter. For me it was fear. Once, she asked me if I told to my family and our relationship ans I said "No". She was surprised so I asked myself if I could try, even if I know that my parents wouldn't allow me to be with her, I thought that it could change nothing. That even if they don't allow me, I would still continue with the love of my life.
So one day I told to them about me. First, they laughed a little. And they said to me "OK". It was completed.
But one week after that, they asked me to sit and listen. A monologue of 30 minutes. About how I cannot waste myself like that. That I should be disgusting like the other people.
For them, being in a relationship, with a non-believer, and a person who has not the same origins as me is a mistake. And that I was ruining my life.
This and other stuff I don't want to remember.
I had a hard night. I was thinking about her. About how I could be what she wanted.
I could never take to theatre to watch a movie together. I could never present her to my family. I could never make the mariage she wanted because of religion.
Because my parents used religion as a reason for their racism against her.
I didn't want her to go all that. I knew from the beginning that it could happened but still I did it.
So I broke up with her. She was devastated and she told me that it wasn't a problem, that we could still be together. And I said no. Like the coward I am.
The truth is I didn't break up with her for her, but for me. I hate my guts for that. I ended up everything we could have been with just one conversation with my parents. The only being that I truly invested in to because she deserved it.
We stayed friends. For 2 months. No more kiss or even holding hands. Then the hugs disappeared too. Then she told me that we are to different so we shouldn't stay around each other anymore. We were in high school. We are in high school. It's been 4-5 months she left. We are in the same class so we see each other every day but, things gone too complicated.
When she left I ran to her and I said "We can still try, I have the energy to try. Like everytime we can fix us" but she said no. It was over. then one month later I ran to her again and asked her, she said "We are too weird together". Then a month later again I came, she said nothing. And a month later, she said that I was harassing her. Her friends who in the past loved me hate me now.
At this moment I knew I destroyed everything. I hate myself so much I swear. Now she hates me and she should because I just couldn't let go.
When I broke up with her she told me that we have to stay friends after that, and when she left I said the same thing. Maybe she left because she couldn't stay with the man she loves and she couldn't take him even if his feelings for her are there.
That's my story. School ends in 1 month and I will never see her again.
That’s good. She deserves to move on. It’s not her fault
I must admit that I needed to say this. I didn't say to my friends why I broke up with her since they are not religious and I don't want to join family and friends ever again.
I said to myself that I'll never be in a relationship again. But I'm young (16M) and I don't want to do mistakes again. I don't want to be with someone my parents chose for me. If I cannot be with someone I truly love by myself, I prefer be alone (romantically saying).
Sometimes I'm saying to myself "Why did she leave me. We could have make this work" for like 2-3 weeks and then the culpability comes again. I'm trapped into an infinite cycle between hate towards myself-asking myself why did she leave-Saying that I can go on without her and then the culpability comes again.
I'm new on reddit. I'm sorry if I do something wrong. If I should go in a better community to talk, I shall do it.
Maybe someone here encountered the same path as me?