u/Immediate-Living2996

So just abit of a post of where to look I guess and which innocent sites to look out for , I'm gunner list all the places and apps I found during our DD and feel free to keep adding .

• tumblr

•reddit

•instagram

•YouTube

•xbox

•discord

•deviant art

• onlyfans

•Google (not even searching for porn but looking at bikini photos of celebrities)

•x ( formally twitter)

•steam

•Snapchat

•tiktok

Some of the more common but less known sites

•fansly

•telegram

•kik

•feetfinder

•admire me

•adult work

I feel like these PA just keep getting more creative and I want this post to help someone not feel like they have been living under a damn rock , like I currently feel . This content is everywhere, literally everywhere. From soft core to hard core . From fetish related to everyday content that's been turned into porn .

This morning I put YouTube on the TV, his account was logged in . I clicked the profile to log out and bam there it was added to a playlist , I can't tell when it was added but it was there as "newest add".

I asked about it and he said he didn't know it was there ect all the normal stuff, what he doesn't know is I checked previously and the video wasn't there ....

So I know he's lying .

I didn't even know YouTube had that kinda content.

Our children use that account !!!!!!

Not sure what the point of this post it I'm just frustrated and due to have our 3rd baby next week who will be early and probably need nicu support .

I'm emotional , hormonal and I just want to crawl in a hole .

I feel like we've gone from 1 extream to another , from his constant porn use and being an absolute pest , being multiple times a day for sex .

To lucky if it's twice a month ?

Is this a normal part of recovery ?

Pregnancy has triggered all kinds of insecurities given I now know what he did through and after my last pregnancy

I'm just looking for some comfort and kind words to support me through these emotions.

I'm so insecure and just feeling really down about all of it and I can't stop thinking about it , my partner hasn't given me a reason to feel paranoid but I am .

I don't want to cause an argument with him but I also don't want to not say how I'm feeling , it's eating me up .

Coming up to 2 years past DDay and I've got mixed emotions. Still struggling to trust my partner , there are points when I just get hit with this wave of sadness over DD .

How are others coping ? Those who choose to stay ? Those who have done their best to save the relationship.

How do you feel?

Does it still sometimes feel like a hole In your chest!?

Are you coping with never blindly trusting them again?