I enjoy working with my coworkers for the most part, and a small group of us frequently eat lunch together. However, during these group lunches the discussion often involves weird comments about race/culture, gender, money, etc. Some of the most recent examples:
Coworker mentioned he likes to make fun of a friend that tans easily for being so dark
Other coworker shared a comment made by his direct supervisor. This supervisor’s daughter has a black boyfriend, and joked with my coworker about wondering if he’s going to be robbed by the boyfriend. My coworker seemed to find this hilarious.
Other coworker has a young daughter and makes comments about her daughter’s male classmates being crazy and stupid. She said if she’d had a boy instead, she would discipline him by slapping (I have a young son).
Coworker also makes judgmental comments such as lower income people not working as hard, and certain other languages being barbaric.
Since our lunches often involve helpful work-related info sharing as well, I don’t want to alienate myself from the group, but these kind of comments are starting to weigh on me heavily. I don’t know how to balance staying in the loop with work stuff with protecting my own mental peace. In the past I’ve tried to redirect the conversation or subtly challenge their comments (ex. What do you mean by that? Or wow, that’s pretty offensive) but they will usually play off their comments or say they’re just joking. These coworkers have stronger personalities and seem to take pride in being direct and opinionated. As they are getting more comfortable around each other (we are all relatively new to the company and started around the same time) the comments seem to be getting worse and more frequent. There are few other people working in our office, so I can’t seek out a different lunch group. I also really love the job and don’t want to quit, but not sure I can deal with the toxicity much longer. Any advice here is appreciated!