I (23F) have been with my fiancé (24M) for almost 4 years, and we have a toddler together. I’ve always tried to have a good relationship with his family and be respectful, especially since family is important to him.
The issue is with his brother’s girlfriend. The problems actually started in early 2024, when I was only a few weeks postpartum—and she had only been in a relationship with my fiancé’s brother for a few weeks at that time. That was already a really vulnerable time for me physically and emotionally, and instead of support, I ended up dealing with a lot of stress coming from her.
Over the past year, there’s been ongoing drama involving her that I’ve tried to stay out of, but it’s gotten to a point where I can’t ignore it anymore.
She has talked badly about me behind my back multiple times and has spread things that weren’t true. One specific example: there was a group chat where she told others that I was “controlling” and that I was “keeping my fiancé away from his family,” which isn’t true at all. In reality, we both started setting boundaries after repeated disrespect, but she twisted it to make me look like the problem.
What made it worse is that this didn’t just stay as gossip—it actually affected relationships within the family. Because of things she said, it created distance and tension between me and my fiancé’s siblings, including his brother and sister. It felt like I was being judged or viewed differently based on things that weren’t even true.
I didn’t even know most of this was being said until later, which made me feel completely blindsided and honestly hurt.
I’ve never confronted her aggressively or caused a scene. If anything, I’ve kept my distance and tried to keep the peace. But after everything, I don’t feel comfortable around her, and I don’t trust her intentions.
At this point, I’ve decided to set a boundary for myself. I don’t want people around me (or my child) who bring negativity or talk badly about me behind my back.
Now here’s the situation: we’re planning a family-related event, and I decided I don’t want to invite her. This isn’t about being petty—I just genuinely don’t feel comfortable having her there given everything that’s happened.
The problem is that this will likely cause tension with my fiancé’s brother and possibly other family members. I know it might be seen as me “creating drama” or “dividing the family,” even though I feel like I’m just responding to what’s already been done.
My fiancé understands where I’m coming from and supports me, but I still can’t help but wonder if I’m taking it too far by not inviting her.
So… AITA for setting this boundary and not inviting her?
TL;DR: The issues with my fiancé’s brother’s girlfriend started when I was only weeks postpartum, while she had just started dating into the family. She later spread things about me (like calling me controlling), which affected how his siblings see me and created tension in those relationships. I don’t feel comfortable around her and don’t want to invite her to a family event. AITA?
I do want to add that she has a very unstable relationship with future bil and I have always had a stable, healthy relationship with my fiancé.