dietary incompatibility with partner
I am an ex vegan turned conscious omnivore/still mostly vegan, and my boyfriend is supportive of being selective of eating only ethical, regenerative/sustainable/organic meat when we cook at home, but wants to eat what he likes when he goes out to eat. It triggers the freaking hell out of me to see someone I love eat meat from a factory farm. My man is honestly incredible; he is a really hard worker and he treats me really well. I know I don't get to control what someone else does. I do not want us to split up, but it is really hard to feel like we are not on the same page. I feel like a raging narcissist spoiled brat when I bring it up.
I know it really is not much different than when I use plastic/burn gas, etc.
He tells me it feels like I am in a cultish way of thinking.
Can anyone give advice for how you can get past this? I am trying to stay with my partner, so please no comments telling me to split up. I was raised very religious and the good vs. evil black and white thinking is burned deep into my bones. I isolated myself when I went vegan because I felt like my ability to trust others disappeared. I regret doing that and I feel ashamed for the years I spent feeling superior to others. I don't want to be that way, but it is really hard to be aware of the suffering and love people who live differently. I also have ended or self-sabotaged every romantic relationship, and I know this is partially a manifestation of that.
I'm sorry if this isn't the right sub. I just don't think the vegan sub is the right place for this, because I am looking for words to help get me OUT of the cult-y thinking.
What scares me the most is ending my relationship over what could very well just be propaganda. That feels anti-human dystopian
Edit: please do not spare my feelings. I need outside voices to tell me how crazy this is. I feel like I have been in the vegan mindset for so long that I am out of touch with the world outside of it. I do not want to be this way.