I have contemplated leaving for 4 years. I feel like I am just putting the pieces together that I am married to a narcissist who has been actively employing coercive control methods against me for years.
I’ve been choked in my sleep, had a pillow held over my face, have watched this person make several threats of suicide in front of me using a weapon, swallowed a whole bottle of pills in front of me because I hung out with a friend they didn’t approve of, physically barricaded from leaving during fights, pushed, called degrading names like “bitch” “slut” “easy” “desperate” “lazy” and I’m sure theres more instances I’ve repressed.
We had a fight yesterday, I could see their use of DARVO so clearly. They poked and poked and poked and prodded at me until I started crying, I was then labeled reactive and crazy for being upset over all of the horrible insults they’ve said to me within the last week. I screamed at them to leave my house for nearly an hour. They packed up all their stuff and left with our 2 cats.
I cannot go back. I will have the courage to build my life again. I’ve been hiding this abuse for years and I’m really needing some words of encouragement right now :/