u/Immediate_Gur_360

First night in my new (and first) apartment. i manually brought two car-fulls of stuff into my new bedroom and at the moment it is all half unpacked and only semi organized, despite me spending like 2 hours unpacking and trying to organize it all. I didnt realize it was going to be this hard to get all my stuff in order, but luckily i kept my schedule open and gave myself plenty of time. I told my friends I was going shopping tommorow and I probably still will but I'm gonna need some time to make this room look a little better before i bring even more things in here.

Anyways, I threw away my last pen earlier today when I was leaving for my long drive. Of course the cravings hit me while I was unpacking, I caved and I ate one of my edibles.

When I took the edible, and before it kicked in, I felt totally fine about it and even was looking forward to the effects. But when it kicked in, it did not make me feel better. I feel more anxious now and I've been distracting myself by browsing reddit. And I've seen enough now to make me want to quit. I'm writing this for myself to read when I feel like getting high. Take it from your past self, who currently is high.

The cart can fuck you up and fuck your lungs up. Dont fucking do that.

They are unregulated, addictive and dangerous. They are no better than cigarettes or vapes. Longevity is infinitely more valuable then some illegally purchased, risky device that delivers a subpar high anyway.

Remember "Nuerons that fire together, wire together,"? Well doing this all the time is strengthening the addiction and nueron pathways. The resistance ones are weaker right now because they havent been exercised, if you keep resisting they will strengthen while the addiction ones dwindle.

Enduring sobriety with cravings is way better than being high, anxious and regretting it. The effects of edibles are irreversible, which causes anxiety. Smoking is even worse for your health than edibles. Therefore there is no reason to use weed like 99% of the time, the 1% being a singular occasional casual hit when the atmosphere is right for it. Otherwise, you're risking your health, brain, body and lungs only to ruin the few times that a hit might be fun, nice and have any potential benefit.

Throw away the edibles. You dont need them.

[I might post updates to my profile. Posting this in this sub incase anyone might find it helpful.]

Been smoking weed for a little over 2 years now. I like it in all its forms but I've relied on pens/carts to give me convenient highs without smelling too much ever since I started, it was the first and most common way for me to smoke. I havent exactly admitted to anyone out loud yet but I have to admit to myself that I'm addicted to them, I've been thinking about it a lot and I realize this needs to stop. I hit the pen multiple times per day and it really doesnt do anything except satisfy a small urge and maybe make me feel a little fuzzy. It's a daily ritual and although I would not say it has ruined my life, I do think that it has little to offer me and that the risks far outweigh the benefits, and that I've avoided admitting this fact to myself for a long time because I didnt want to quit or admit that it was a problem.

It feels strange to me that this is a problem I have, because I was always an overachiever and I still look that way on paper. It's a little jarring to know that my parents would be absolutely flabbergasted to find out how much weed I have smoked.

I'm writing this post mostly for myself, so that my desire to quit can exist in writing somewhere and not just be floating in my head. I know that I will crave the pen after I quit and I will need to throw them away if I want to succeed. This will be hard because I spent good money on the pens I have right now and they are nowhere near being dead yet.

But I'm moving back to my college's city soon and I'll be living in an apartment with people who I dont know very well. I've had issues with past roommates being upset at me for smelling like weed (after coming back from hotboxing with my friends) so I feel like I can't be hitting the pen in the apartment and I feel like this has gone on long enough and that maybe it's time for me to stop hitting the damn pen so much. I will be very busy, so why spend my limited free time being high? Why ruin my sleep when I will desperately need that rest? Why should I keep numbing my feelings every evening while trying to be more emotionally in tune with myself? I'm going to work hard to improve myself and this will probably be the hardest hurdle I will have to overcome to become the person I want to be. I never would have guessed when I first started that it would end up being so hard for me to quit all these years later.

Anyways, I want to write about my progress as I go through this so I'll probably make a thread or something. No idea how many people will see this, but anyone who wants to share their experiences is welcome to respond. I think it would be nice to talk about this with others who understand the struggle XD