r/Petioles

I don’t know who to talk to abt this because it feels so pathetic.

I have to stop smoking tonight undergo TMS treatment, and no matter how hard I try I cannot fucking quit. I just can’t go a night without it. I know it’s because I had gotten rlly severe anxiety with super bad OCD after my mom took her own life.

I’ve been able to titrate down to about two bowls a day but I just can’t let go. I don’t want to give up on having that as my “treat” at the end of the night. I do don’t want to have to face these thoughts I’m having alone. It is like my own break from everything. It makes food taste so much better, sleep much better, and I end the night on a better note.

Without smoking I know I would lose that for a bit. And I know it will be multiple days (or episodes) of having the thoughts be really terrible without me having the ability to escape. I get these really bad panic attacks, but right now I’m just so afraid of having one and feeling so terrible.

I’m just losing it. I respect myself so much less now that I have this addiction, but stopping makes me hate myself more because I look at my life more clearly.

Technically I can smoke during TMS, but I had to agree w my doctor I wouldn’t smoke at all because that’s his personal philosophy with this treatment. I have been lying about it for the past week, and I want to just push the treatment back.

But this is the real kicker, I am paying $12,000 for this out of pocket, I cannot push it back, I was able to get special approval from doctor for it, but still I just can’t stop smoking.

I really want help and I want to be better. I broke down and tried to explain this to my dad, but he was honest with me and said that I’m barely even holding it together right now, and if I can’t quit weed then something really serious is wrong (which is true). He talked to me about going to a residential place but that just sounds so much worse.

I don’t know what to do, who to talk to, how to stop and how to know for sure that it’s going to be ok when I do. I want to stop so badly but the fear inside me is much bigger.

Hello, I've frequented this subreddit quite a lot in the past but never posted, it has been really helpful.

I'm 24 and have an on and off battle with carts. It's been over 1.5 months since my last hit which I am happy about. I've pretty much hit them all day since I was 17. I recently got a really good job after finishing my masters and realized it was time to lock in after sneaking to the batrhoom every few hours mid day in the office. I dont think it effected my work too much but definitely my social abilities and memory.

I quit cold turkey for 3 weeks and it was pretty smooth besides the beginning. I introduced it once per week and did that for 3 weeks. The vivid dreams kept going on even after 3 weeks but were not bad.

I dont go out much, but it was two of my best friends birthday recently. I sort of used this as an excuse to indulge and ended up smoking four days in a row. However that was 3 days ago and I haven't smoked since, which makes me hopeful for my future in moderation. It helps that I am conscious about my dose recently, as over those four nights I only had 1-2 small sessions each (like 4 puffs of a joint)

The only downside of this is that my sleep is definitely effected. I smoked last on Saturday, and had some crazy vivid dreams and kept waking up on monday and tuesday night. Definitely not as bad as the initial night sweats and insomnia, but not pleasant. I actually felt relatively well rested in the beginning of the day and was able to avoid coffee (the afternoon is always bad for me with an early wakeup)

I know it differs for everyone, but has anyone found a sweet spot for frequency in use? I've seen several posts but definitely would like some extra input for anyone still around on the subreddit.

I think going forward, my rule will be mostly 1 but occasionally 2 times per week, and not two days in a row.

I'd love to hear people's experience, thanks in advance!

Let me preface by saying that I don’t have a very large social circle, but cherish my relationships with the few near and dear to me. I have definitely been using it as a crutch to deal with anxieties or even boredom whenever I am not working. It hasn’t been a direct problem professionally, but the symptoms such as memory problems that come with chronic cannabis-use affect my work.

It’s not common knowledge to the people who know me (except my partner, his family and friends, some acquaintances) that I use cannabis, so it would be a whole other conversation to address why I needed to quit something in the first place — I’m not quite sure yet if I want to divulge this information about me, let alone who. Just wondering if anyone has gone this route and their experience…

Basically, what the title says, I can’t stand these awful, vivid dreams I keep having. I honestly preferred it when I had no dreams. They play with my emotions when I wake up, and oftentimes when I wake up in the middle of the night from one, once I go back to sleep, it CONTINUES the same dream. I hate it so much. It’s honestly the worst part about quitting weed for me. I hate dreaming.

my mom passed away 2 months. i’m on day 5 of my t-break. hoping to make it to at least three weeks. but since starting my t-break all my dreams have come back and i’ve been dreaming about my mom every night. it feels like every time i wake up i have to reprocess that she’s really gone. and of course that makes me want to give up and just smoke. i’m trying to honor her by feeling my grief instead of pushing it away. i just want my mom back. this is so hard.

Hello everyone.

21 days ago I (F36) decided to join my husband in a 3 months long break from weed. It’s going ok so far, no night sweats, no nightmares, no insomnia. Tbh it’s going easier than I anticipated.

There are days when I really want to smoke but I don’t on principle. I said that I would do 3 months without smoking and I will.

My problem is that without weed the underlying reason for smoking has become more apparent. I do not enjoy life. I have never really enjoyed it. I remember talking myself out of unaliving myself when I was just 12. I’ve done 5 rounds of antidepressants since then. Yeah, they worked. Also therapy helped. I don’t think about unaliving myself everyday anymore, I’m not suffering from crippling anxiety anymore. I’m well adjusted in life, I enjoy my job, I have enough money, I live an easy and stress free life. I have hobbies, I have friends, I have pets.

But the underlying current of general misery is still here. I feel like I’m just riding a first class train to the grave. Should I just accept it? It feels like I’ve done enough to improve my situation, more therapy or pills won’t do anything. Should I accept that I’m not a happy person in general and just ride the train enjoying my relatively comfortable seat?

Any insight is appreciated. Thank you for reading.

This morning I realized I really need to change this habit. I’ve been smoking on and off for the past 6 years, and I love it as part of my nightly routine, but I can’t ignore the negative effects anymore.

I have autism and ADHD, so I already struggle with constant fatigue, and smoking seems to make it 10x worse.

It doesn’t matter if I sleep 10+ hours, I can still wake up exhausted. When I’ve smoked, it feels like the fatigue gets stuck in my body and behind my eyes, making them feel heavy all day.

The frustrating part is that smoking also helps me calm down and decompress after a long day. I genuinely wish I could smoke daily without it amplifying my already chronic exhaustion.

I think I’m going to try limiting it to 3 days a week and see how that goes. The hardest part will probably be stopping it from becoming a nightly routine again.

Does weed make you feel generally unwell?

I'm not talking about CHS. I have never experienced vomiting with weed. The only time I get nauseous is in the morning and it usually has to do with anxiety where I develop a sour stomach.

Just like most people, when I used to get stoned as a kid it would be mostly typical. I do partake a lot, but I have the worst love hate relationship with it.

When I smoke, it makes me feel just generally unwell. A mini headache, tension in my stomach and all over my body, achiness, no appetite, poor confidence, feeling of general heaviness, negative self speak, no motivation. Anybody else feel like this but still smoke?

The obvious solution here is to simply quit but it has this grip on me. I threw out my vapes this morning but I talked myself into buying a little flower to ween off. I've had success in the past with cold turkey but I can't afford to slip at my job.

Anybody else in a similar boat? I could really use some help in whatever form. I have the I am sober app but I keep having to reset it. Would taking the plunge this upcoming long weekend be the play?

Hello! I've (M 27) been using cannabis for about 10 years now, using it heavily for about 8. I'm planning on starting a 90 day break June 22nd. It's been a very difficult year that's included me having to sue employers, losing a 4.5 year relationship and moving back in with my parents. I feel cannabis has been the biggest barrier to living the life I want and connecting with my values. I'm hoping stepping away would improve:

Emotional regulation

Sleep

Motivation

Clarity

Consistency

Finances

Anhedonia

Self-esteem

Hobbies

Relationships

Career

Just to name a few

I told myself I'd do 90 days and re-evaluate but if I find it to be beneficial, I think I'm ready to step away. I don't feel moderation will ever be a reality if I'm being honest. I have great routines, self-care activities, hobbies, and friends already. The structure to support myself is there. I'm just terrified. I chose June 22 because that's 3 months post breakup as I didn't want to remove weed during the initial shock phase.

I guess I'm just asking for any tips, motivation, past success stories, or any advice. I'm feeling really low about life but I know I have what it takes to turn things around. I'm fearful stepping away from cannabis won't actually improve anything and I'll be stuck once again. Just looking for a little support and community 🙏

I’ve been smoking weed for 3 years. I quit for 6 months before, so I know I’m capable of quitting, but after moving to another country I relapsed hard.

Now I live in a small ghetto-like village that’s literally known for drugs. Weed is everywhere here, cheap, easy to get, and constantly around me. My parents basically forced me to move here for medical school, and honestly it’s affecting me badly.

I have no friends, no social life, and nothing to do most of the day except smoke, scroll on my phone, or play PlayStation.

The worst part is I can’t even last 1 day without weed anymore. Mentally I feel horrible without it, and the cravings become insanely convincing. I’m spending almost all my money on weed now, and the high barely even feels good anymore.

People tell me to find hobbies, but I feel so deep into weed that even trying new things feels mentally exhausting. I go to the gym sometimes, swim, or do something fun, but once I finish, I’m back home alone again with nothing to do.

In about 2 months I’ll go back home where I actually have friends, family, and activities, and I honestly think quitting there would be much easier. But right now I feel trapped in this cycle.

Has anyone else tried quitting while living in an environment where drugs are everywhere and loneliness makes everything harder?

30f, daily/heavy smoke for 15 years. I’ve taken breaks here and there and felt good, but always knew I couldn’t put it down for long. My last REAL break was last year and I lasted 2 months. I’ve been doing well cutting down to only smoking in the evenings. However, my health is absolute dog shit. I wrote a list of reasons why I should quit (maybe for a little, maybe forever, idk), and this is what I have:

- need to lose weight
- REM sleep - always wake up tired
- Always irritated
- Hormones out of wack
- To save money - $200+/month
- Be more social
- Better mouth/teeth health
- Better lung health
- Better skin

My health has impacted my confidence and my overall well being in life. I feel so gross about myself. I even find myself tired of the constant cycle. I make sure to plan smoking into my day as well as my budget, and that’s the meaning of addiction, not “winding down”. I’ve prided myself in saying I’m a high functioning stoner, and that’s not something to be proud of. I could go into detail of each reason, but truth is I didn’t need a list to tell me have a problem. Well…. Here’s to Day 1 😮‍💨

hey guys!! i’ve posted here a few times before, and am once again cutting back because ive been having prodromal symptoms. i’ve been a decade long smoker and average about 3-5 bong hits a day after work during the week, and am stoned from wake-up to sleep on saturdays and sundays. i usually go cold turkey when i take a break from weed, but this time i decided tapering was the better option because i became uncomfortably underweight and didnt want to risk losing more. im a little over 2 weeks into tapering at this point and it has been WAY less painful than other times!! i actually really am tired of my smoking habit, and have been smoking purely to moderate symptoms and not even enjoying it. i’m even lightly dreading smoking when its time for my scheduled hit, because i know i wont feel great high. ive noticed the only times ive enjoyed it the past few weeks is when i am 100% into the idea of smoking and have nothing to ruminate over. if i’m even a little anxious, its miserable. the prodromal symptoms are subsided which was my goal but i’m continuing this pattern anyway and hoping to moderate further so i never end up at this point again!

all of that to say, i’m not fighting mental demons nearly as much as before and am actually really proud of how its going. week 1 was one hit a night, and week two was one hit every other night. the symptoms of withdrawal have been basically non existent (besides some weird “im afraid of what will happen if i dont smoke right now” feelings that i’m successfully talking myself down from.) the thing thats really throwing me off here is that i am suddenly night sweating SO BADDDD. this happened on the first few nights but rly subsided quickly, but last night i woke up eight fucking times drenched in sweat and had nightmares. has anyone else had this symptom begin weeks into cutting back?? i’m so thrown off because its been going so well, but now i’m exhausted and have no idea how to be a human today lol. i would greatly appreciate hearing your experience (and also how long this annoying symptom lasted) because i’m loving my new normal and this new change is irritating!!

i have a prescribed medical cart for my eating disorder, sleeping, anxiety and ocd. my tolerance honestly isn’t too bad, but i would rather catch myself now before i fall too far.

I quit smoking weed in 2021. I was high 24/7, my tolerance was at a level that would disturb most people. Most days I was just high through out the day, had a job that allowed me to be on my own most of the day so I got away with being stoned while working.

After deciding to quit, and spending ages 25-30 clear headed, I have completely changed my life to be more goal oriented, I have to go to the gym or I feel bad, and I make sure to eat healthy 80-90% of the time. I really changed my perspective on life and what I want from it.

So now, as a 30 yr old man with a good job and an apartment in my favorite neighborhood in my city, I decided to come back to it.

I only get high during the weekend. Which works because my job now is impossible to do high so I would never dream of walking in there after smoking. I also want to make sure I wake up fresh as possible so never on a “school night”.

I also now make lists on the weekend of stuff I need to get done before I can smoke which has kind of boosted productivity and removes the shame of being lazy.

I recommend to everyone who has not taken a very long extended break to do so.

If you are in your 20s and have been high since you were a teenager I strongly recommend you take some years away from weed to figure out what you want from it.

For me, I want to enhance my nights on the weekend, especially those that I spend inside playing a game or watching a series. Trust me when you have low tolerance like I do now, and you watch a crazy show and eat a bomb ass meal, it’s like a religious experience. And knowing that your life is together and you earned it with zero guilt is so freeing and makes it 10x more enjoyable.

To wrap this all up, life is never perfect. Though, I think one thing many people who smoke too much weed need to do is take some time away and grow up before they come back to it.

Then when you bring it back, you need to put up guard rails and rules so that you keep it responsible and don’t hinder your life from progressing in a positive direction.

This has been my ted talk. Peace.

Long story short, I smoked intensely for five years and towards the end developed the beginnings of CHS (I believe — my throat would close every time I got high and I had to painfully regurgitate anything that went in).

I’ve been sober from weed since March of last year, and it’s been a good break. I want to discuss possibly returning in a limited capacity to smoking, because I miss having a recreational outlet and do not enjoy drinking/other drugs.

What are ways I can do this safely? Do I get a steroidal inhaler to keep when I get high so my throat can open again? How do I safely moderate myself? TIA!

So I have been combusting for years off and on. I’m 40. Since I was 17 years old. I know, poor lungs and brain. Oh well. We all die. I make the best of it. Anyways. I was on the verge of just quitting. Taper off with edibles. Then I started doing what I do best is searching around on the web. I come to find a study, that low dose of thc reduces stress. That’s why I smoke.. stress.. but I have been self aware of my use. Multiple joints a day, actually combustion and started doing a dive on the negatives of this. Heart problems, lung problems, financial issues, mental/sleep problems. So after tonight, I’m officially done combusting weed.. I’ve been digging more into the dry herb vape and made the decision, to vape .5 at night to take the edge off and enjoy. But only .5. I made this rule, if I do over .5 a night then I’m completely done. Even on special occasions, weekends. Has any of you had any success with this type of use.

hey, so i quit using high concentrate thc disposables 12 weeks ago after a bad high and have been foggy, a bit anxious, and having issues sleeping. ive had a good stretch of 2 days where i felt normal and almost like i was 100% again until i had a little anxiety attack that brought back that foggy/not all there feeling. ive started to cry more over a situationship im having which wasnt something i used to do but ive heard crying is a good sign of my brain rebalancing and slowly going back to normal. im wondering if anyone else has had the same withdrawal pattern as me and how long it took you to feel 100% again or if i will ever go back to normal. thank you.

I used to use rso quite a bit back in 2019 while I was on mirtazpine 15mg and sertraline 100mg I used to be fine in fact I think the rso as helped me more than any pills ever have but now I’m a bit paranoid/weary as I’m on more meds:

Promethazine 25mg 3x daily although I mainly take this either once or twice a day as I end up forgetting.

Mirtazpine 45mg

Quetiapine 25mg

Clonazepam 0.5mg 1 tablet twice a day as and when needed.

Losartan 50mg - blood pressure med

Usually take all before bed.

I’d say I don’t really notice much of a sedating affect from any of the meds idk if it’s because ive been on them for quite a while, the clonazepam I don’t really take daily unless I really need it, my main concern is will it suppress my breath like a lot of sedatives end up doing and then you end up dead? That and serotonin syndrome

I’ve been trying to take a 31 day break for two years. Been smoking since 2019, and it revolutionized my life. After a lifetime of trauma, weed allowed me to feel my feelings and think my thoughts w/o pain. I could analyze them in my body and not feel like I was dying. What was a tool to evolve and grow w/o pain became a crutch within a year and a complete hindrance to my progress by year 4, because I become fine with mediocrity. I’ve taken breaks but they all felt like holding my breath until I could smoke again. It’s been 7 years, I’m 28 and have been working on my internal world nonstop (through journaling) in preparation for this break, and May 1st, I finally did it! Even though my dog died 2 days later, I stayed present with my pain and grief and I didn’t smoke! I have so many things I wanna do in my life that I know I won’t accomplish if I’m numbed by weed, and my 20’s are almost over. I’m not where I wanna be physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually and I out my foot down, and my importantly STUCK TO IT. I kept my word to myself after years of breaking it. So so so proud of me. I’m back in the gym, saving money, in therapy and taking my life back. I refuse to go back to smoking until my goals are accomplished, but I also keep telling myself “oh sure you can go back soon, it’s really only 31 days” knowing damn well I can’t get snatched in that time but whatever, my brain accepts the lie enough to keep locking in. Just wanted to brag on myself and if anyone is reading this and thinking similar things, go for it!!

22M and had a few incidents in semi-recent memory that have made me decide to really give taking an extended TB a shot and fixing my life. That said, after 4 years of consistent and heavy use (at my worst, I burned through a 1g vape cart inside of 4 days, sometimes as low as 2) my stomach has been left pretty worse for wear. Now, I've done pretty much every conventional form of weed imaginable (not RSO though... too spooky for me) and had a bad habit of pairing it with alcohol for a bit, so I'm not surprised that something had to feel a little off.

Some of the troubles w my stomach include EXTREMELY persistent gas, transient nausea, as well as random acid reflux (though usually provoked by salty food or sugary drinks, especially alcohol). Though I haven't seen too much info about these sorts of symptoms online, some of my old high school friends had similar issues. I'm not surprised, especially since most of my HS friends are still heavy smokers whereas I've managed to somewhat taper between relapsing into heavy use and having somewhat extended abstinence periods.

My question to you guys is this: has anyone ever had these sorts of symptoms before, and if so, did you ever manage to get over it in a way that DIDN'T involve microdosing weed? I've had a battery of tests done (no H. Pylori present, and a clean colonoscopy too) and truthfully I can't see my current gastric woes being anything but the weed. I've also overhauled my diet to include more fresh food and less salt, but I could probably afford to cut further back on my salt intake too.

Hoping someone out there has been through this, it's been really hard and significantly impaired my ability to work without fear of throwing up (which has happened before at work, alas :/)