r/Petioles

i don’t want to accept that i cannot smoke nightly. ever since i was a little kid id go through medicine cabinets looking for shit that could get me high. sure my baseline rises up when i decide not to smoke but at the same time it doesn’t feel like it rises up enough for it to be worth it cuz im just functioning better at work. i want to function better in relaxation. i’m not happy and wish life was different. really struggling to keep going especially considering i have felt this way months after not smoking weed. i’m really tired of life.
just really unhappy and don’t know what im gonna do. i’ve gone months without weed and still felt the same, it doesn’t feel like it has anything to do with weed but not who i am. don’t know what to do.

I’m not even rlly sure if i can fully claim the last four days as sober, i have an addictive personality and i feel as though ive just swapped addictions— got a nicotine vape in lieu of a disposable…then brought the disposable anyways. had it ab a week before i gave it to my gf (who isnt rlly a smoker). now i just have a nic vape and though ik its not better for my health, i like the action of smoking and it wont be flagged on a drug screening (getting clean for a job). i have been drinking this week, out of the norm for me bc i prefer weed over alcohol by far, but i need to feel something. anything. ive drank along twice now, the night of the fourth i got so drunk i barfed twice…alone. I know i have to be able to sit with my thoughts, i think i can but THE BOREDOM!! i can’t bear it, everything is boring and void of joy. i am a void that needs to be filled with nothingness, typically with substances but now just doomscrolling or binging shows.

i also need a new therapist bc ive missed too many sessions. need a new psychiatrist for meds bc i also haven’t been going to appointments.

there isnt much of a point to this, its more of a rant tbh—but i want to be better and be okay without any substances. i want to be content stone cold sober.

i don’t think ill drink again anytime soon, its rlly not my style and it feels awful to me. i just wish it weren’t so hard for me to be okay without weed. its like a warm hug and i think ab how much i miss it everyday i dont use.

hey guys!

so, i am a very frequent smoker. carts only, and i would go through a two gram in maybe one weekend. just 24/7 all the time.

my first night was rough. emotional stuff, hard time falling asleep and getting comfortable. i have urges and the sweating is a bit annoying, but i feel okay, i feel like i can do this.

am i over the worst?

I’m nearing 48 hours since the last time I smoked. Honestly I’m not sure if it’s a tbreak or if I’m done for good.

I feel like I’ve had a pretty good handle on my weed consumption. Switched from my bong to a simple pipe which was not as smooth but a much less intense high. I’ve been able to graduate and find jobs while smoking. I’d go through about an ounce every 3 months just smoking little pipes bowls throughout my day. It’s never affected my performance at work. I work out high in fact I enjoy that. It makes media consumption so much better.

This is what has made quitting so hard. Everyone online seems to feel that weed is single-handedly responsible for all the bad things in their life. But it doesn’t feel that way for me. In fact weed has helped me through trying times. However I’m doing pretty good now. I don’t need it. And moderation is hard. I always say I’ll only smoke at night but then I find myself smoking before breakfast especially cos I work remotely.

Weed has also helped with the solitude of being a single man like living alone. I did have a lot of friends from college (and still do) but they all moved far away after graduation. Meeting new platonic friends as an adult has proved harder than I expected. But I don’t want to become some hermit who forgoes human connection for a quick high.

So here I am. Quitting. But I feel alone. It’s easy to get baked and get lost in a show or on YouTube and ignore the loneliness. But being sober, I feel all of it. I haven’t had much of the physical withdrawal symptoms. Sleep was alright cos I exercise a fair bit. I did feel a bit nauseous while eating my pizza but I was able to stomach a few slices but fuck me, the loneliness is terrible. And there’s nothing I can do to distract myself from it. No family in the country. No friends within a 3hr radius.

I’m not sure this is worth it but I don’t want to spend my life abusing a drug I don’t need.

My dad has passed last week on June 26. I was really close to him and cant stop thinking about lighting up to ease the pain. Ive been clean for a while and thinking of adding a single dry herb vape a day to calm my nerves. Then i go into the spiral or research on the negativesfor the heart, lungs and everything inbetween. Do any of you have success moderating your use? I dont want to smoke again, but then again we all die and im struggling. Any help would be greatly appreciated thanks.

I’ve taken breaks before but this last time I was just feeling soooo foggy and unmotivated and I really felt like it was affecting me and my depression. All I could think about was smoking after work and I hated that, I wanted to find joy in my life not smoke it away. My tolerance was so high, I had no motivation to workout, was struggling to get to dr appts and felt so lost in my career and life. I adjusted my mental health meds which I think also helped, and took 30 days off. I smoked to break my streak for a fun weekend and it just made me SO sleepy and hungry. I actually didn’t miss smoking as much as I thought I did, and I really enjoyed my last month sober. Idk if something in my brain changed but I might do another 30 days. I’m elated that I’m finally enjoying life in balance and I want to share that it is possible it just takes some shifting of habits! here’s some of the things that helped:

Exercising especially long walks outside, hot yoga, and weightlifting to my fave music

Going to bed earlier than I want to allow for the insomnia to not be so bad and do relaxing stuff before bed like shower, read, chill out and not too much screen time

Making the appointments I’ve been putting off and going to them gave me a sense of pride in taking care of myself

Eating nourishing meals and actually eating breakfast

Allowing myself to feel my emotions instead of smoking when I have a bad day so I can focus on self regulation

Drinking water!!! I was so dehydrated and I woke up feeling so much better without having a dry mouth and feeling sluggish

If you’re wanting to take a break too, just keep doing those affirmations and tell yourself you got this! Remind yourself of your motivations and you can always smoke again after your break it doesn’t have to be forever. One day at a time!

My partner is coming to my city in a couple of days (we're long distance). He recently asked if I would be interested in going 15 days without smoking before he arrives

Previously I talked to him about how I really want to decrease the amount I smoke and become a moderate smoker instead of someone who over consumes and abuses cannabis (expensive as hellll, don't even get high, just smoking for the sake of habit and addiction) I think this is his attempt at helping me cut back which is kinda sweet

I agreed and currently am on day 4, last time I took a tbreak the withdrawal was more physical, I was just craving and itching to smoke and was extremely agitated over small things, but now its more emotional then last time. Im actually doing well with cravings. They come and go, and it isn't anywhere near like it was last time. But lately, my emotions feel so much stronger. I realized I fell into a habit of just smoking any negative emotion away, but now im just being thrown full force into my own personal emotional hell.

Has anyone else felt similar? And if so, how have you coped?

I also think Im carrying around a lot of guilt. I feel guilty that I made myself numb for so long instead of actually dealing with what I was feeling. Im trying not to beat myself up over it, but it's hard.

Hello! I hope you are well. First of all I apologise for my very bad English, but my future husband told me about this sub. He wants to stop vaping and start a withdrawal. I would like advice to be the "best woman possible" in this less easy moment than usual, I try to make myself very small, be less boring etc, but what else can I do, are there any comfort food style dishes that you like to eat? I would really like to make his life as easy as possible. Thank you for your advice, and sorry if I'm not in the right place (since he's stopping I don't want to ask him a lot of questions about it and make him think of weed continuously) thank you!

I see lots of people on here saying they’ve been on T breaks for days, weeks, months etc. while I’m incredibly happy for these people I can’t help but feel a tinge of envy as a T break feels so impossible to me I can’t even put it into words. I started smoking in college only during weekends here and there. Eventually it somehow became a daily thing after graduation. Been smoking daily multiple times a day for 4 years, about a 1/4th every week. Every time I tell myself I’ll avoid a wake and bake or wait until later, I have an absolutely miserable time and I take everything out on my poor husband. I end up saying absolutely nasty horrible things I can’t take back or spiraling at the most mundane everyday problems, and this feeling in my chest I can’t even describe; the hopelessness, raw pain, intense turmoil of emotions that weed has been muting. Desperately wanting to come out of my body to stop feeling the mental anguish. Today I ended up taking a Xanax to calm down but I obviously do not want to be dependent on that. I do have ADHD which means I already struggle heavily with dopamine balance. I’ve lurked on this subreddit for years reading every piece of advice And when I tell you I’ve tried everything, I have. Meditation, breathing, therapy, SSRIs, hobbies, cold showers, even getting up and working out in the morning. But I always revert back to it. For example, I’ll only get up and work out in the morning because I KNOW I’ll be able to reward myself with weed right after. It consumes my mind. The only time I can stop is when I travel overseas and usually the first day is the hardest but it’s smooth sailing from there. Which is why I KNOW this is all in my head. The minute I’m back in the country it’s like I never stopped smoking. why the fuck am I willingly being a prisoner? How do I fix this?

I want to cure my relationship with weed. I need a way to regulate my emotions while stopping/cutting back because I can’t stand the guilt from hurting my loved ones and the constant anxiety and depression.

Long story short, I’m considering smoking weed again after nine years of abstinence. Last time I smoked and quit, I was smoking like 1.5 - 2.0g per day all day. Withdrawals when I quit were severe and lasted months.

The time before that however, I smoked for six months, but only after 8pm, and only like three small bong bowls. My withdrawals that time were minor only lasting a week or so.

My question is, and no one knows my body like me obviously, but wouldn’t my withdrawals be mild if I only smoked flower at night for maybe six to nine months?

I’m morbidly obese and very addicted to sugar. I need to make some major life changes. The time I smoked in 2016, I was able to wield it successfully. I ate super healthy and exercised daily. It improved my life dramatically.

I know smoking cannabis again now at age 36 would help me big time. I’m just worried about withdrawals if I were to start once I quit.

Please don't ask me about what happened, I need to be alone with my thoughts. Please understand. Don't DM me either.

That being said, I'm about 5 minutes away from grabbing my keys and buying enough weed to green out. I need help to get troguh today

Hello guys, here is an update about yesterdays post.

So I went back home from the swimming pool (I go swimming after the office) and in my garden I smoked one last doobie full of already vaporised weed (as I stopped buying new buds).

And then I went upstairs, took all my weed stuff and trashed it all in the bin: the vaporiser (an old X Max Pro) two metal grinders and all the sacks of forgotten weed that was still there for a while (it was so old I wouldnt give to anyone). To be sure: I put all that in the outside bin. No going back possible.

May the force be with me and as a swimmer I think I am going back more often to put in there all my energy so I would be tired a lot back home.

My wife is anxious because during my T breaks I wasnt really into sex but I hope it is temporary and we're going to do love again like in the first days (so may sex become my other drug with swimming and biking lol).

Voila, it is time to end 17 years of daily usage of weed. 3 years ago I quitted tobacco. Life improves.

Maybe am I a mean person in essence ?

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist on August but I feel like when I am not under weed influence I am more stressed out and nervous and mean to people who I even love like my future wife or appreciate like family friends or colleagues.

I still smoke some weed after I come back home and I go mostly everyday swimming where I put all my energy.

I am also someone who cleans often my apartment, I tend to be angry to my fiancée when stuff are not well organize. If my appartment is not clean each week I feel nervousness when I see some dust on my vinyl player case.

Gosh I wish I could be normal...

For some clarification I'm fairly young, low body fat, moderately active, decent-ish diet.
On the 29th of June at approximately 3:15am, I took a hit from my dab pen as I have been doing and have been completely fine doing multiple times a day, every day since may of 2024. Within 15 minutes I tried to swallow (nothing in particular, saliva I guess) but it felt like my tongue was sinking into my throat. I immediately felt like I was fucking dying, and I began having this clamping pain in my left arm, I felt like my higher consciousness was being sucked away from my mind (some form of dissociation), my chest felt like it was collapsing, and the sides of my head had the worst cold sweats I have ever experienced. I tried to lie down in my bed, but my heart and veins were beating out of my body, and I started hearing my own voice in my head as if it was disconnected from me (Feeling this happen, I decided to say some supportive things to myself in the third person, something like "I am here to guide you.") I felt like my room or bed itself was literally killing me, so I decided to lie down in the living room instead, and I started feeling better. Eventually I was able to get up and walk around, and look out the windows, and I felt very extrospective, like a higher than usual (but still tolerable) thc high. But I decided to go back into my room, and it all came back to me, so I had to lie down in the living room again. After like 2 or so hours it mostly passed, and I was able to fall asleep in my bed (had an odd dream literally just about picking out and eating food in a Chinese buffet) but as I was lying down I still had some pain in my left arm.
The day after, during some moments of down time I felt like I was dissociating in the same way as before, but eventually I was able to harness that feeling and I started feeling great, spiritual.
But near the end of the day, I just felt incredibly empty, very depressed. I'm using marijuana because my life is very hollow and I need something to fill the voids, so without it, the void is more prevalent than ever.
And just yesterday, I tried dry herb vaping a little bit of flower (less flower than I normally use mind you) and I had worse cardiovascular symptoms than ever before (besides the pseudo-heart attack incident that caused me to use less) and I felt like my neck was incredibly tense.
It's worth noting that the day I used the dab pen, I was running on 3 or 4 hours of sleep, and very little food. Although I did dry herb vape a normal amount of flower about 4 hours before using the dab pen, and I felt great/normal, as usual.
Has anybody experienced a sudden acute sensitization like this before? I'm really considering quitting but I'm not sure how to get through my days without it.
Considering antidepressants, as I am clinically depressed, stopped taking them a little while after I started using marijuana because I felt like it was doing a better job, and I was scared of serotonin syndrome.
For some more clarification, it's not like I have things I truly enjoy doing or could plausibly look forward to doing in my day, so it's not like I'm struggling to get joy out of things I should enjoy, I just have nothing to enjoy at all.

I recently finished cancer treatment and my oncologist strongly recommended that I don’t smoke for a year for (valid) health reasons. I can still do edibles, but they don’t work for me well because my liver processes them too quickly and my tolerance builds insanely fast. I’m just looking for advice/tips to get through this year, especially from anyone who has done a long-term break. Thank you!

I have been using only after 8pm and take about maybe 8-16 puffs . Been doing it about a week now. Haven't really counted all my Puffs. Tried flower but it's not hitting the same like carts. Edibles don't so nothing. I have RSO oil which works great for rice shape. But this just skyrockets your tolerance even higher.

Not sure what to do. I get severe insomnia from it gas I used it before bed but. Definitely affecting rem sleep. I wake up wheezing coughing brain fog and just out of it and tired all day long I till the effects are gone.

Hi I am sharing something that might motivate you to lookout for the same. I used weed for more than 15 years now. I quit smoking tabacco 2 years ago and changed to rasberry leafs (I highly recommend that if you want to quit Tabacco - German here we mix). I always suffered from Depression, Anxiety and (recently diagnosed ADHD). I switched to edibles for health concerns and those really helped my Depression but made it harder and harder for me to take part in my daily life. Due to a surprising experience with something else, I found out that my Brain can actually quiet down under certain circumstances. So I went to the Doctor told him about my experience and now am using Medikinet Adult. And my craving for Weed is just completly gone, my brain doesnt need the soothing effects that it gave me from Weed as there is nothing to sooth anymore. Maybe that right now is just the first hype from my new Medication, but maybe if you also struggle with constant racing thoughts and weed is one of your Solution, maybe this is your motivation to get active and also lookout for new paths.

Good luck and thanks for listening.

Hi all! Long time lurker, first time poster.

I wanted to share my experience in case it is helpful for anyone thinking about taking a break or stopping.

I’m not going to lie, hanging out around here made me quite afraid of even trying to take a break. I was reading horror stories of long, somewhat miserable withdrawal. Feeling like I was already pretty depressed/miserable, I was loathe to try anything that might increase the bad feelings.

I recently went through food poisoning, and then had the realization that I’d likely been in the prodromal stage of CHS for a little while. Having just experienced digestive distress, I decided it was time to stop before the CHS progressed.

It’s been 3 days and counting after 6 years of daily use. While I got slightly less sleep than I’d hoped for last night, I am still feeling so fresh today. My brain is working on overdrive (in a good way) and I have been riding a huge surge of euphoria.

Not sure if this will last, but I’m so happy to be over the mental hump of taking a break. For me, it has only been a positive experience.