I (31F) am 5 months away from our 2nd anniversary to my (34M) husband.
I stay in what has been a volatile marriage for 2 reasons:
I am a Christian
I love my stepson
My husband has been avoiding me and having sex with me since we got married, or within a month or two. We had a very short engagement, but both of us seemly felt secure that we were on the same page on ALL topics of importance.
My stepsons mother wants nothing to do with him. It breaks my heart because he is an awesome kid.
My husband cannot handle “hard conversations” or really any conversation outside of his special interest of hunting/firearms. I have tried, and tried, and tried to come to an understanding. About 2-3 minutes into any conversation, he will have a panic attack. I’ve tried to avoid his triggers, but nothing gets resolved.
With all of my heart I want to make this marriage work. To my knowledge, nothing has happened to warrant a divorce (cheating, spending all the money, physical abuse, etc). I will be homeschooling my stepson for his next grade. I am so excited to get to do projects with him. My husband is unable to cuddle my stepson, and my stepson is STARVED for connection. Recently, my husband decided to start discussing our marital issues with my stepson (12yo), which makes me incredibly uncomfortable. My husband asked him if he wanted me to stay, to which he said yes.
My question is: am I doing more harm than good? What are the longterm consequences of my stepson seeing my husband and I argue and avoid each other?