So me (male) (age 20) and my gf (female) (age 20) have been dating from long distance for the past 3 years now, we would talk everyday and it's had its ups and downs but we made sure to talk about our feelings about anything that happened.
So back in March of this year she has been caught up in a lot of work more than usual, cool, fine I'm not gonna argue with that cause she seemed a lot more tired than usual.
She would give me small talk and little replies back when I sent her a message, It seemed she was getting back to them more later increasingly as the time was going by.
Through March she seemed to stop really paying attention to my text, she would say sorry for not responding in a given time as she was working or had forgot to text me back saying that she was tired more often as I reasonably had no problem with it just wanted to make sure she knew I was there.
Fast-forward on the 28th she had gave me my birthday wishes and seemingly went to work, I don't usually do anything for my birthday and I usually just relax as a free day but I wanted to leave a message to let her know she is strong and can make it through the day.
Later I got a text back about her saying thank you and that she was tired and I asked if maybe we could talk on the phone for a little bit before she slept.
She agreed and we proceeded to call and it had been sometime since we really had a talk, I was a little bit slow to the questions but Its my gf I'm talking to so I got comfortable and wanted to ask how her work and stuff was.
Talked a little bit and I wanted to ask if my attempts of encouragement was too much and annoying her but she said no and that work was alot and then she suggested a break which caught me out of left field, never thought of taking one and it made me feel sick a little and made my eyes tear up thinking it's a break up in disguise.
Beginning to hear cracking in my voice speaking about it she was trying to comfort me and telling me that no it's not a break up, simply put she just wanted to be able to focus more on her self as she said she's been giving to much attention away from her goal of achieving independency.
I said in desperation that I didn't want one and simply put that just a message or a check up was all I needed to know I'm still able to be by her side, and we agreed to this and it was working for awhile.
Give it in April I have been seeing less of her and just more of a simple response and saying "thank u and goodnight" texts more often and "I understand" when I'm conveying my feelings to her and trying to explain I'm here and present.
She as a total of 6 days she didn't respond to my text until the 27th when she finally responded to my text.
I had seen it and just said thank you and I miss you and love you text but I didn't think this would be what she said next:
"Hey i need a break im sorry i have alot going on rn n for awhile n i dont wanna tell anyone either so i need it thanks so goodnight n ill get back to you when everything is not too much"
"I won't see your message"
"I'm taking a break from social media too"
I read that and just sunk in thought of wow I really just lost the girl of my dreams in my head, but I had seen it as that and said my goodbyes and said thank you for the memories type of vibe.
But the next part is where I'm confused now since it's been a week and I'm still pondering about it alone which I hate to do cause it has put strain since this was the one person who really understands me.
She said:
"See ya n im not leaving u i just need a break i hope u understand sorry n ill add u back when im ready"
"Still do what u need to do okay"
At the first text of the break she had unadded me by then so I was pretty much seeing it as I'm just getting broken up with in a slow agonizing way in my POV.
I've been here a whole week asking others in my friend group and wanting to know if I should keep hope and trust that this is a real break and she actually needs time to do things.
On the other hand I'm thinking it's a way to just leave me in the back burner while she has options to go to, I've never had a reason to not trust her as she has done things to allow me to trust her so idk what to really make of it.
I'm really lost and it makes me physically hurt sometimes thinking of it but I try things to keep my mind off it just at night it gets really bad, I just hope I'm not wasting time hoping for a return if it will ever happen but I am putting heavy faith to see it through.
I think I'm putting my faith in the right place I just need some advice on if it's the idea to keep hope?