Me (21f) & boyfriend (25m) have a 3 month old baby together, but are living separate at the moment. We have an apartment where we are paying out of the lease and looking for a place closer to boyfriend’s job, so me & baby are living with my parents while boyfriend lives with his mom about 4 hours away, because he works with her.
Therefore, me and baby visit his dad at my MIL’s at least twice a month for a weekend & a week. When I first met my MIL we weren’t that close and it was fine, we still enjoyed being around each other. Whenever I got pregnant, she became super nice and helpful and did a lot of amazing things for me and wanted to spend more time with me. But after I had baby, I feel like it’s just been incident after incident with her. Firstly, she kept begging to see the baby and overstepping boundaries when we were only 3 weeks home from the hospital. Eventually when baby was 2 months old we visited her & it was alright but little things she would do would annoy the HECK out of me! For example baby would be crying while she was holding him & she would be rocking him very fast and panicking to calm him when I keep telling her to just hand me my baby. It would just be little stuff like that at first, then she started calling my son her baby which was like ok… but I didn’t like it. Then I start noticing her doing weird stuff to my boyfriend, like sitting on his lap or trying to lay on him while he’s sleeping, he’s a grown man and even he told me he doesn’t like it. Well fast forward to our recent visit & she had gotten drunk the first day! She kept making baby choke on milk because she was trying to shush him with the nipple while he was screaming! While we were outside I told her the sun was on his face and he couldn’t see and she literally said “oh well” like WTF. My boyfriend says she was just impaired and he would have a serious conversation with her, but when I asked if he talked to her he said he just told her she’s a different person when she drinks and she didn’t respond.. like huh?
Then I’ve started to get the feeling like she’s contradicting everything I’m saying all of a sudden or there’s random tension in the room & I suddenly get very annoyed by the sight and sound of her. I don’t know I hate feeling this way because I should have a good relationship with my MIL and it just feels spiraling.