u/ImmersiveArcana

Hi! I have a bit of a situation and would really appreciate any advice, other’s experience or ideas what to even think about this.

I have been a follower of Loki for a few years. A lot of it was good and very helpful and interesting and enlightening. But around a year ago in a meditation-journey-vision-experience Loki tricked me, which has been causing me problems ever since.

I wanted to believe that it was all for the better, kind of a misfortune that will give way to something better but honestly I don’t think it has at all.

I have paused working with Loki for a few months now completely but this left me questioning the whole paganism witchcraft spirituality everything. Why would a deity that I thought was trying to help me, I had a good connection with, actively harm me? Would thinking that not play into the “bad” Loki stereotypes? But it has been my experience.

Honestly I feel like I have been outcasted by the god of outcasts. And it all feels shit. And I don’t even know what I did wrong.

Any help or advice would be really appreciated.

I have been a pagan for a few years. I had a connection and regular practice with a few deities and several more in more fleeting way on specific occasions or celebrations or spells. I can give more details but I don’t think it’s relevant since it’s more of a generic question.

A few months ago, since April or maybe also a bit before, I’ve noticed that I do not feel anything during prayer or rituals like I used to before. Other aspects feel off too.

So I decided to take a bit of a break. Now it’s been around 3 months of my break and I would like to return to my practice since it brought a lot of light into my life but it still feels wrong. I am conflicted what to do. Maybe I should explore different deities, but that feels a bit like a betrayal? Or just try to push through since the break seems to have made things only worse?

Has anyone been through something like that? What did you do?