Yeah you read the title right. (I have been told I deserved this by pro-aborts, so if you came to say that... well I can't stop you but i hope you find peace one day.)
TW for child rape, SA, Christianity, child pregnancy! Proceed with care!
I'm 18, and i just wanted to share this story because I finally can.
I've been sexually assualted... more times than I can count actually. It started when i was a toddler. I have never actually been pregnant, I would like to say. But have had many pseudopregnancies, which despite not being real, were traumatic experiences. It is a traumatic experience, feeling your body change, in addition to the SA. Humiliating, and i built up a lot of resentment and anger, particularly at men. (I'm not a misandrist anymore and i'll get to why, don't come after me for that).
Now that I sort out the feelings, I can say pretty clearly that the anger wasn't directed towards the baby in question but rather the situation. In fact i was pretty possessive of the (nonexistent) fetuses in a weird way of "I resent everything you represent but you're mine and no one can take that away from me." It's hard to explain now that it's been years. One thing I did know pretty clearly, even though I had little understanding of abortion, that I didn't want to kill an unborn baby and be a monster like my abusers. A lot of that was guilt rather than reality though. I was 10 during the first pseudopregnancy.
So... the prolife thing. I think I have always been prolife as long as I have been Christian. In fact, my personal faith is the few times I did feel at peace, regardless of whether I thought I was pregnant or not.
I doubt I would be prolife without being Christian because as a Christian, I am under the law to not kill, I am vegan and I totally go out of my way to not kill insects if I can do so without putting my life at risk, and isn't a human life much more valuable than any insect? Hence I do not believe abortion is moral. Even after the rapes and when I thought I was pregnant, I didn't feel I had the right to harm a human because of my feelings and trauma.
I wish abortion wasn't painted as this great thing, I have heard from women I know how traumatic it was and how it messed them up emotionally down the road. I also hate how "all abortions are valid and all women should be supported no matter what uwu". Yes all women deserve support but we, as women, are NOT some perfect angels and it's antifeminist to suggest that abortion is always a good deed 'because women are all valid always'.
Another thing that I now realize is wrong is when men are painted as evil for having feelings around abortion. I'll confess, I didn't realize this till I came to know a guy who was grieving his unborn child and was painted as evil for it (won't go into detail to preserve his privacy). The father, siblings, and family of the unborn are just as valid as the mother's. Everyone has a right to express their feelings as long as they don't force others.
I also deeply wish people would stop saying all rape victims are pro-abort. Every rape victim has a different opinion based on their own beliefs. We are PEOPLE, not just political arguing points.
However, when banning abortion leads to the death of the mother (through unsafe "back-alley" procedures, which we have seen they will try at any cost), or women who actually need abortion when they cannot safely give birth, then a total ban fails its own moral objective. I put my money towards sex-ed and contraceptive usage rather than conservative campaigns. I also am disgusted by the cruelty of some prolifers saying the women deserve to die just as I am disgusted by the cruelty of some women killing their babies on whim.
Thank you for listening.