u/ImpactedShadow

I had my baby today. My baby boy was 40+2, 10 pounds and passed just a few hours after his birth. He had too much meconium inhaled and too much acid from it in his system to fight. I never got to hold him alive.

The hospital has been amazing to us. Gave us a cuddle cot for the night. But this doesn’t feel real. He was so healthy and active inside me. It’s two days before Mother’s Day.

I don’t know what to do after this. I don’t know how I’m going to go home empty handed. How do I navigate this for myself, my husband and my other kids (18, 11, 3, and almost 2).