AITA Am I the asshole for being angry at my husband for not defending our daughter, and at my mother-in-law for clearly favoring my niece over her?
AITA for being angry at my husband for not defending our daughter, and at my mother-in-law for clearly favoring my niece (sister in laws daughter) over her?
For context, this isn’t really about money. My husband’s mom is extremely wealthy, but I genuinely do not expect or need her to buy our daughter expensive things. We’re fully capable of providing for her ourselves. What bothers me is the blatant difference in treatment between the grandkids.
The conversation that finally set me off was when we were talking about getting my daughter a balance bike. My mother-in-law immediately suggested we should “just buy one used.” Again, nothing wrong with used items — that’s not the issue. The issue is that when my niece turned two, my MIL bought her a designer Kith collaboration balance bike that cost a few hundred dollars without hesitation.
And honestly, this pattern has existed for a while. My niece gets fancy clothes, expensive toys, special trips, and a lot more attention overall. Our daughter usually gets hand-me-downs, cheaper gifts, or noticeably less effort. It’s not just material things either, it’s the time spent, the enthusiasm, the involvement, all of it.
Right now my daughter is too young to notice, but I notice. And to me it’s less about “stuff” and more about what the behavior represents. I don’t want my child growing up feeling like the less-loved grandchild. I’d almost rather my MIL not get her anything at all than make the difference in treatment this obvious.
What really upset me is my husband doesn’t say anything. He acts like I’m overreacting or being sensitive instead of acknowledging that the favoritism is real.
So… am I the asshole for being angry and wanting to address it now before my daughter is old enough to feel it too?