u/Impossible-Bug4487

I like Liz, and after watching her across a few shows, my impression is that she’s a people pleaser to her core. It feels like she ends up with whoever chooses her, rather than actually choosing what’s right for her.

Even the way she apologized to Sophie when she hadn’t really done anything wrong. It feels like she has a deep need to be liked, accepted, and chosen even at her own expense. And probably because she doesn't think about what she wants.

I don't think she believe they’re enough on their own. Like there’s this underlying belief that they’re broken, hard to love, or should just be grateful that someone wants them.

And honestly, with everything she’s been through, reality TV probably isn’t the healthiest place for her. She should work with a therapist doing deep trauma work, and rebuilding her sense of self outside of relationships and reality TV.

I wanted to share something about FIRE that I don’t see talked about enough. Like what happens after you moving to a lower cost of living area to optimize your savings or to "retire".

I’m from Toronto and in 2022 I moved to a LCOL city in Canada. I’m single, in my 40s, no kids. I work from home maybe 3–4 hours a day.

On paper, it looked like I figured it out. Lower expenses, more time, more freedom. I honestly thought I hit the FIRE gold.

What no one really prepares you for is how isolating it can be.

The FIRE journey itself can be isolating. But once you get to a place where you’re doing “well,” it gets… weirder. Especially when you’re in a city where no one knows you. And even more as a single woman. It’s not common, and people don’t really know how to place you.

I bought a really nice place in a really nice area. Instead of it just being a normal thing, people made assumptions or asked straight up rude questions about how I could afford it.

Making friends has been hard. Like, really hard.

And I’ll just say it: people are way more supportive when you’re struggling than when you’re doing well. When I was broke and figuring life out, I had a lot of friends. When I started doing well financially, things shifted. I even had friends of 15+ years come visit and act surprised that I could afford something nice.

In Toronto, I lived really frugally. People assumed I was broke and honestly that worked in my favour. I just didn’t expect how much that perception would change things later.

Dating has been worse. I had a guy I dated for a bit who completely changed once he figured out where I lived. It got uncomfortable fast. I’ve also had men start talking about their debt pretty early on, and it just felt like there was an expectation there. Like I’d step in or take care of something. I’m not interested in that. I’ve stepped away from dating for now.

The second part and this might be controversial for folks who are pro-ownership.

I was paying about **$**3900/month for that “nice home.”
Now I rent for about $2,500/month.

And I walked away with about $650K, which is now invested. Financially, this actually moves me closer to my FIRE number which has changed every year since 2020.

The best part? People are treating me normal again. No weird questions. No assumptions. It’s honestly wild. You work so hard to get something nice, and then you feel like you can’t even fully enjoy it.

At the same time, renting fits me right now. It’s cheaper. It’s simpler. And I like simple.

I don’t have a car. I don’t wear name brands. I wear the same shoes all winter. This wasn’t always me. In my 20s and early 30s I shopped a lot. I had nice things, people would compliment me but I was also in almost $50K of debt and in a relationship that made me miserable.

This version of my life took time. I definitely don’t have it all figured out.

From the outside, it might look like I’m living the ideal setup. And in a lot of ways, I am. But there are trade-offs people don’t talk about.

One thing I have committed to is figuring out who I want to be for the next 40 years. That part has actually been really interesting.

Also, I’m really glad I stayed in Canada. Before I moved, I thought about leaving the country completely. But I have a cancer gene and get regular reminders from our government to get checked. Last year I had my first real scare. I don’t think I would have followed through the same way if I was living somewhere else. Our healthcare system isn’t perfect, but when that happened, I got quick care and people were kind. I was really grateful for that.

If you’re thinking about moving to a LCOL city for FIRE, just know. The math might work.But you still have to build a life there and that can take a long time.

I have only 2 stocks in my RRSP - appl & goog and it hit over $200k. Should I sell them and buy an ETF? I'm 44 and won't be adding anymore money to the RRSP account.