Happily married to someone similar to LO, but can’t stop checking on social media
I'm married to an amazing man who I genuinely love, but I still can't stop obsessively checking up on my LO almost four years later.
At the time, I was in an abusive marriage. I met a very good-looking guy twice, and he completely ghosted me. I became obsessed. Every notification made me hope it was him, and I'd spend hours checking his social media and searching for him online.
The strange thing is my LO wasn't even good to me. He lied constantly, hid that he had a child (who even has the same name as me), expected me to pay for everything, never took me on proper dates, and ghosted me more than once.
A year later I saw my LO with a new girlfriend. His equally attractive friend was there, and I ended up having an affair with him instead. I think I transferred my obsession onto the friend, who at least took me bowling, but he also ghosted me and treated me badly.
After leaving my abusive ex, I unexpectedly met my LO again. We met twice more, and he ghosted me again.
Later, I met someone online from the same country who resembled my LO. We genuinely fell in love and married this year. My husband is kind, loving, and everything I could want.
I ignored it when the friend recently tried flirting with me, but I still search for my LO almost daily. I don't even think I want him anymore. I just can't understand why someone who treated me so badly still occupies so much space in my mind.
How do I stop before it turns into another 4 years