Breakup? 32F, 33M
Split with 9yr partner four months ago. Our lives were pretty enmeshed, lived together, have pets together..
I had initially wanted to have a talk about what we could do better and how I was feeling, but he initiated the breakup conversation. It wasn’t from lack of love, but we felt things “weren’t working” at the moment, our communication was lacking, among other factors.
We’ve done some work since then to understand our attachment styles, learning self soothing/somatics, and better communication skills.. I’ve moved out and we have unsuccessfully tried no contact multiple times over the past few months.
We have talked about the possibility of reconciliation or at least dating again in the future, and still have love for each other.
After the most recent, longer stint of no contact, M had brought up having sex only with each other but still being broken up.
Is this just his way of keeping his options open? Why be specific about exclusivity, but not be together?
Thoughts?