Phobia of coins and metal Metallophobia / Nomismaphobia
I’m 24 year old black female. I have extreme fear and dislike of coins. Definitely a phobia. I remember when it started I was four years old and I was playing with pennies and I smelled my hand and the smell was so disgusting that I did not want to touch the pennies anymore. It made me not touch coins anymore. Then it turned into oh well the door handle smells the same so I can’t touch door handles. And then I’d see silverware that was like rusty or looked old and I don’t I want to touch it either. I know it all originated from the smell of it, but I hate it. Then it went from I can’t touch it to I can’t even look at it or be around it. I would sit in my sister’s car and she’d have coins in the cupholder and it would freak me the hell out I’d have to look the other way I’d have to put my window down. I’d have to hold my breath until it was completely covered. if I walk into a room, I am able to spot a coin on the floor or on a table from like a mile away and I will not make eye contact with it’s facing me, I’ll hold my breath. It’s gotten so much worse over the years. Obviously coins are a part of every day life. When I was little before I had a debit card, (thank Goodness for those) and I was forced to take the change back. I needed to roll my sleeve down and grab the change or if I Had to touch it, I would not be able to use that hand for the rest of the day. I would have to wash my hands with hot water multiple times I’d hit that hand with bleach, Id hit the hand with rubbing alcohol. Anything I could feel better. If somone I’m with touches coins they are now contaminated in my head. they cannot touch me or anything I own even if I get them to wash their hands. Is there anybody else like this? I feel like such a freak it’s holding me back from life so bad but I honestly don’t even wanna like get help because then I would have to touch it and like even with the idea of like ,oh it’s not gonna hurt me ,I t’s not gonna kill me. I still don’t wanna touch it I still think gross. I still think it holds so many germs.
I also think it went from this phobia to blown out OCD because there are very specific cups i can drink out of now very specific plates I will use at all. It is from an experience I’ve had which I’ve seen a coin in a mug or I’ve seen coins on a plate or in a vase or in a drawer so scared to use used things cause idk what it’s touched. Now many metal I see that rusted or looks not absolutely brand new I won’t use or touch. Stainless steel is fine to me tho for some reason. anyone else I feel so alone