insecurity
Insecurity
I writing this because I feel this will vent out everything I have inside. the world has expectations that I cannot adjust to I guess that’s the right word for it my lifeee ahhhhh I insecure about everything the way I look my body muscles and what not
Even my relationships my sex life is pretty good bit watching or most likely consuming social media and all kinds of evil I feel insecure about you know what yeah that exactly what you think yeah my dick it has been like an anxiety for me my size girth and all those things my gf didi talk about how drake has a big huge penis as it got leaked in twitter I felt myself comparing myself to that I was so happy before when I was 5 or 6 I did not care about anything I was selfishly selfless(I don’t know if it is right) my anxiety has hit all high I wanted to write a book that eventually gets in as a movie but alassss im too lazy I don’t know if I will keep writing this shit aiyoo I did not tell the reason for me being insecure is that my gf is very very pretty while I am a typical mallu with curly hair an okay average face and a lean build with a shoulder imbalance which I don’t try to fix I am concerned about each and every detail sometimes I want to cry and tell someone but how will I im scared that she will leave me and im trying to look max and all \but deep down im lazy and not confident enough. Im hurt when she mentions how other guys she saw for example the monastery where she saw very good looking guys with fair skin and whatnot that kindaa hurtt and how she has likes on different good looking absolute models and I love her so much that when she does this it hurts it hurts sooo sooo much im I don’t know man I feel like I can never fill the hole I feel like I have reduced myself to something im not like this I never was I was confident and all but now the social media standards has changed how a man must look has changed my mind I lack sleep each and every day I have anxiety which is like at the top cant sleep I mean If I sleep I mean that I lie down at 12 or 11 30 I will sleep at 1 30 and wake up early which makes my face darker kinda puffy and uglier I cant even look at myself I feel like crying loud Im writing this while I am sitting in my office what is a man what am I supposed to do I feel better now when I text this shit out ehh. I wanna go back man I wanna be free from all this I wanna be free work towards what I have ofcourse I will not post this shit on social media so I get anxiety from the comments I just am not strong enough for criticism anyway I will post so I wanna fix myself any way please do you have any tips I mean I don’t know ill try to implement. i hope to be better im 21 I know mens mental health is taken lightly is opening up like this feminine I don’t know I feellike someone will help me and guide me out of this . ill implement if you help me out just think of me as a brother and help me out I have used up all my courage to post this