Considering intermittent FMLA for burnout/anxiety — looking for real experiences
I’m dealing with pretty severe work-related stress and anxiety and I’m curious if other women in tech have taken intermittent leave or FMLA for burnout/anxiety and whether it actually helped.
A few months ago I received the first negative performance review of my career. The feedback was around needing to strengthen my architecture and technical depth as a PM, and ever since then I’ve felt stuck in a constant state of hypervigilance waiting for something bad to happen.
Physically, it feels like my body is always in fight-or-flight mode. My resting heart rate is consistently elevated, I have constant dread/anxiety, trouble relaxing, and I feel mentally exhausted all the time.
What really opened my eyes was a recent vacation. According to my Oura ring, my resting heart rate dropped by almost 20 BPM and my HRV went from 8 to 19 within days. My stress metrics were dramatically better even though I was walking constantly and far more physically active than normal.
My therapist suggested either an extended leave or intermittent FMLA to give my nervous system a chance to recover, but I’m struggling with the idea of stepping away from work. Financially and career-wise, leaving my job completely isn’t realistic right now because of stock vesting and benefits.
Has anyone here taken intermittent leave for burnout/anxiety while staying employed in tech? Did it actually help, or did returning to work just put you right back in the same place? I’d really appreciate hearing honest experiences from people who’ve been through something similar.