Thinking abou divorce
I was in a relationship with my husband for 8 years before we got married. We had arguments like every couple, but nothing even close to this. We have been married for the last 3 months, living together, and I moved to another country because of him.
A few days ago, we had a major conflict. I asked him to give me his phone because I wanted to check something that had been bothering me for a while. On his phone, I found a hidden chat. When I asked him for the password and tried to find out more, he completely changed. He started snatching the phone out of my hands, pulled me by the arm, and said that he deserved respect and that I was not respecting him. At the same time, I asked him if there was anything else he was hiding, and he insisted there was not, even though I knew there was another woman he had been in contact with whom he had never mentioned to me before. He lied to my face while I was begging him to tell me the truth. Just moments before that, he had been talking about having children with me, about marrying me before God, and then immediately afterward he lied to me.
The messages existed while he was working in another country, but also after he moved. Part of the conversation had been deleted, and only a few messages and short exchanges from 2023 remained. When I confronted him about it, he said he knew I would not understand and that he was afraid of losing me, and that she was just a colleague and nothing more. But honestly, all of it seems very suspicious to me, and I cannot stop wondering why someone would hide things if there was nothing wrong, and whether there was actually something between them.
I cannot stop thinking about whether I could spend my life with someone who is capable of lying to me, hiding things from me, and in the middle of a conflict pulling me by the arm and snatching his phone away from me. That crossed my boundary, and I am seriously considering divorce.
I dont know what to do, somebody help!
Do you think I am overreacting for considering divorce after lies, hidden chats, and him pulling me during an argument?
TL;DR: My husband hid chats with another woman, lied to me about it, and became aggressive when I confronted him. I no longer know if I can trust him or continue this marriage.