Financial Advice… New to living on my own, boyfriend and I are bad with money.
Me (21F) and my boyfriend (34M) are currently living together. At the moment, I am paying for the rent (he recently moved into my apartment and previously lived with his parents because of cultural norms here [HI]). My rent is $1550 per month, I make about $300 per week from work. At the moment I have a side gig that pays for my rent.
He and I are both BAD with money; we both have a scarcity mindset (when we get paid, we go out for breakfast, grocery shop for shit we don’t need, etc.) and then when our funds dwindle down, we go into “oh shit” mode where we pinch every. single. penny. I’m so tired of living like this. I have no savings, can barely afford my bills, and have credit card debt.
Before we started dating, I thought that he was probably well off, seeing as he has worked for the same company for 15 years and has a savings/401k (not sure which) with them. I was wrong, I’m not too sure but I think he has about $3k in whatever account he has.
He makes probably $600 per week and is the one who is always eating out, suggesting we go for breakfast, etc.
At the moment, I am paying my rent; I never want to depend on a man again for anything… (trauma from the past).
This leads me to ask:
How do we even begin saving? This is the cheapest apartment I can find. I don’t drive, don’t spend money on anything but groceries (even then, I’m frugal because we get the majority of our meals from work.
How can he be better with his money and how can I help him improve without being controlling?
This is probably so scattered and could be written better but I’m just so worried all the time and I saw him asking for money from his friend and I’m just SO embarrassed.