Do you know anyone who's been single whole life and died alone? What do you suspect is the reason?
Do you know anyone who's been single whole life and died alone? What do you suspect is the reason?
Unfortunately it seems I will be one of them. Whether it's due to my bad wounded energy field attracting the worst out there and the best are repelled by my energy field, or it's due to attachment wound made me push people away feeling the fear or confuse it with gut instinct, we will never know.
I also have some extremely serious mental illness, and it's definitely part of the symptoms of developmental relational trauma. It's unlikely I can get out of this addiction that has formed to cope with pain, by addiction I mean the so called "mental illnesses" that kept me trapped as a way to avoid pain of trauma. I'm no different than a dementia patient. I'm very scared and worried at the same time have absolutely no way of getting out, there had been a guy who approached me and gave me hope, I felt all my illness healed with him he was able to give me the emotional and spiritual love to be well, however according to him something happened to him as soon as we got together and he went to prison. He was trying to reconnect with me but I mostly ignored him wanting him to try harder, I also don't trust him although I know I want to trust him, he just want me to blindly have faith, which I also understand since if you don't trust someone there's no way to be with them anyways. I blocked him now because he triggered my pain too much yet at the same time I know it will be this case in relational and attachment healing that is probably the only effective way to target the deep early parts of the brain that caused mental illnesses to begin with. On the other hand if all these are just wishful thinking getting involved with a toxic pathological compulsive lier who seem so genuine and real would even be Sui cidally destroying the already fragile health.