"none of this is your fault" made me cry like a bitch at my psychiatrist today.
I'm on the waiting list to be formally diagnosed but my psychiatrist said to me he would bet a lot of money that I am autistic. I was previously diagnosed with cptsd and BPD. But now they're think CPTSD and autism. Anyway, We were going through general questions about medication and some past trauma ect and towards the end of the appointment he said to me "none this is your fault" and it really felt like a punch in the chest almost for some reason. I'm a 35 year old man and I was sat crying there (which I'm ashamed of) but I couldn't stop. I just feel kind of mixed. Like I'm glad for the validation by him but also kind of confused about..everything?
Where do I go from here? I'm on the waiting list to be formally diagnosed but that could take years. I feel like I don't know or understand myself at all sometimes.