Informing PIMI family you will be disassociating yourself…
Long story short. I have been inactive for years but still follow the rules and raised my children with the same rules. Long story I “woke up” and I can’t unknown what I know. I can’t play pretend. It’s important to me to live authentically and take the power of disassociating myself rather than be disfellowshipped. Growing up it was drilled into my headed nothing was worse than removing yourself from the congregation. Anyways, I would like to send my VERY PIMI family who all reside in different states (but I’m close with) informing them of my decision. Then I’ll write my local elders, they will announce then my family will get the “I’m so sorry” phone calls. Anyways, what should I say or prepare for. To be honest, I’m prepared for the worst case scenario. All because I got baptized at 16, I will loose my whole family because I simply changed my mind. I’m disgusted but i choose me. I love me. I pick me. Any encouragement is welcome. I’m adding love to my life so this loss isn’t as lonely but it’s still feels like I’m free falling. It must be done.
Edit to add: While I was inactive, I still believed in what I was taught growing up. I still didn’t celebrate holidays, have worldly friends or hope for a future. I was sitting in mental purgatory knowing I was going to die at Armageddon but wasn’t good enough to be a Jehovah’s Witness. I love things Jehovah hates and oh the shame that brings. I lived in fear everyday. A lot happened, slowly over time then all at once I realized I’m not rotten to the core like I was told. Here I am now after being brave enough to research the religion that has controlled my life. I was waiting to be struck down dead and now I am happy for a beautiful life I live each day. I don’t know how I’ll be okay I just know I will. Sorry for spelling errors or grammar mistakes. I’m quickly just trying to get this out and not over think it. Fighting the feeling that I’m not doing anything bad by discussing this. I’m shaking feeling like I’m doing something bad by talking about this. I’m getting it out of my bones. It’s deep.