u/Impressive_Toe6388

My working theory is that my boyfriend/ex (whatever he is at this point) has BPD. He has committed an act of self-harm in front of me, been in the hospital twice, and has a super unstable self-image. I’ve basically gotten enmeshed and tried to love him out of it, but it was met with resentment for “suffocating” him and “being overbearing” by trying to get him to go to therapy.

Question for men wBPD specifically:

1. If you were feeling rejection-sensitive/having an episode, would you tell your FP/girlfriend that you want to see other people? At the same time, saying things like “I know you can’t be single for long, I’m sure you’ll find a better guy for you soon.”
2. Would you tell me that everyone in your life is telling you to run from me/thinks I’m the unstable one? (I stupidly set myself up for this by overly blaming myself for stuff that is probably actually the fault of his disorder/mental misinterpretations.) ;_; Including telling me his therapist thinks I’m a terrible crazy person more or less, which sounds straight up… not like something any responsible therapist would say.

The guy has broken up with me basically twice this week after putting me through absolute hell. And now I’m trying, as Samuel L Jackson put it, real hard to be the shepherd.