My best friend “Nina” and I have been close since 1st grade. About a year ago, she got pregnant by a guy we’ve both known for years, “Carlos” When we found out (she took the test while I was on FaceTime) she told me verbatim “I want you in the room when I give birth”. Of course I was excited!
I live in another state, so over the next few months I kept asking her to confirm hospital rules so I could plan my flight and take leave from work. She kept saying she would check but “forgot” or “I’ll check later”. I gave her grace because she was pregnant. “Pregnancy brain”
I showed up for her events, I flew in for her gender reveal and her baby shower. After the shower, I mentioned something about being in the delivery room and Carlos reacted surprised, & said “wait you’re gonna be in there?” I said “wait you didnt tell him?” She brushed it off & said she forgot to tell him. Felt a little awkward but we all moved on from the conversation.
A month before her due date, I asked again if she had confirmed. She got annoyed and told me to “just buy the ticket” so I did.
Then a week before my flight, she texted me “I called and they said it’s only two people! ): sorryyyy”.
Something felt off, so I called the hospital myself (kinda crazy but wtv) and they said three people were allowed. I was so mad I didn’t text her back, I needed space
I was hurt and pissed off! I had spent money, used my leave, and asked her for months to confirm this one thing. Later she messaged me “ r u mad): just tell me don’t ignore me” and I responded out of anger, I told her I called the hospital and they told me limit was actually 3 ppl
she apologized but didn’t really explain. I told her I just needed time to cool off but then, later that same day, Carlos messaged me going off about me “stressing her out” and said “ DONT FORGET YOU INVITED YOURSELF.”
wtf.
That honestly humiliated me. I would never invite myself anywhere ESPECIALLY something that intimate!
My theory is, he didn’t want me in there & she told him I was the one pushing to be there instead of admitting she invited me.
I went off on both of them and told him never to contact me again. Since then, I have not spoken to him at all, and while she has apologized, she has never actually admitted to lying or cleared up what really happened.
I have tried to talk to her and move past it because this is a 20 year friendship, but I cannot seem to let it go. This is also not the first time she has been dishonest about serious things with me, but this is the first time I felt personally betrayed and made to look bad.
Now I feel stuck between the history we have and how hurt I still feel.
AITAH for walking away from the friendship over this?
Going to add this here to clear some things up, the initial invite to be in the delivery room was not the only time we ever talked about it. It wasn’t just a “she told me once out of excitement” type deal we talked about it multiple times she would tell me to make sure the nurses didn’t cut the umbilical cord before it turned white stuff like that, a birth plan