u/InaIndago

I have been semi aware that I've been Native American most of my life. Family rumors, odd ancestry, and a lot of racist cover-ups regarding lineage. But until the past few months, I was unaware to the degree. I am Cherokee and Lakota(I need to do more research on Lakota). A quarter to potentially half. I need to get full blood work done. Anyway. The point is, I have not been able to engage with any of my culture hardly at all. I know a little about the basics, and use turquoise and dream catchers. Yes, the most basic it can be, I'm sorry. But I have been relentlessly tormented by this strange on and off dreams for nearly a year now. Lately, it's becoming almost impossible. I'm keeping diaries of them down. They are related to ancestors, tribal grounds, these beautiful camp grounds and gorgeous ceremonies. But I understand NONE of it. I desperately need help uncovering more about them, but because we are no contact with both sides of my parents families(long story short, racism), I have no way to interact with my culture, people, or anything. I have searched, and read, and scoured about these things for hours upon hours. But I just don't understand!! I don't want to seem like some desperate moron, but I genuinely just need someone I can talk to about these dreams, or learn tradition and culture from. Is there ANYTHING I can do to connect more with other Natives? I don't trust the word of google searches or most media because it has been so white washed and diluted over the years. I've been told to try a local pow wow? But is that even appropriate? I truly have no idea where to begin. And I fear appearing insensitive, foolish, or disingenuous.

All I want is to learn more in a respectful way that is true to the information I'm being given, or potentially connect with more people like me, and hopefully understand these thrashing dreams. I am willing to talk in private dms about culture, my weird dreams, where to look for connect, or anything like that. Again, I'm just desperate. Thank you. 💗