AITA for planning Mother's Day lunch for my wife?
I'm more of a planner than my wife. When I do for people I care about, even minor things like book reservations etc, I feel valuable. This is perhaps disfunctional of me but I feel worthy when I do for others. In our hometown any good restaurants will be fully booked for big dates at least 2-3 weeks in advance. So knowing this I asked my wife where she'd like to have mother's day lunch 3 weeks before the date, she said she'd think about it and let me know. 5 days later I asked again and got the same answer. I decided to book a few options, we could always cancel later if none were appealing. I informed my wife of the options I got and she said they all sounded great, they were all restaurants she liked or had been wanting to try but that perhaps the brunch reservation was better than the dinner options for logistical reasons.
Two days before the date I asked again so we could confirm with the restaurant and not get a cancellation fee for missing a booking. She told me to confirm the brunch booking and cancel the other ones. That same afternoon during our regular couples therapy session my wife said that she was angry at me for having planned mothers day for her when the key word was 'mother's' and I basically had no business planning her day for her when maybe all she wanted was to do nothing.
I would of understood if her ideal mother's day was a lazy one doing 'nothing', I understand she's tired running around looking after our 18 month old. Maybe I would have been a bit disappointed but I know the celebration was about her not me. We ended up not going to brunch and doing 'nothing' but it was not a happy Mother's day. AITA for organizing mother's day for my wife? I feel that doing 'nothing' for her would be careless and unloving yet it seems like that's what she wanted.