As the title states, I (29F) contracted GHSV1 at 19 from someone who lied to me about having it and have had my first outbreak in 10 years.
Over the years I've dealt with the ups and downs from having this virus. I've been rejected, shamed and even publicly humiliated because the individual who gave it to me - some local 'influencer' and his soon after girlfriend, who was a large influencer, both blamed me in an attempt to salvage their reputations (he gave it to both of us and many other young girls before me that I was unaware of). They stayed together and got married recently, seeing their wedding all over the local paper/online made me feel ill. Because, while they play happy families, I went through years of torment and suffering both physically and mentally.
I was so young and fragile at the time it happened, I was also naive and taken advantage of. I felt like a pretty little flower that someone stepped on and squashed into the pavement. After a few years of misery I picked myself up, educated myself and soldiered on. For the most part, I have been able to have a fruitful life with good relationships and understanding partners/friends/family. My current partner is an absolute gem and I also haven't had an outbreak...until today.
I am still trying to come to terms with it because even after having a discussion with my brother, who is a Dr., and having him provide me the emotional clarity and medical advice I needed...I still feel like that 19 year old girl who laid spread eagle on the GP bed in agony, looking up and asking "what is it?"
It is an interesting feeling, I've never posted about this anywhere before and rarely go into details personally with people. I've always protected myself when it comes to this and after so many years almost forgot about it in my day to day life because well, life carries on and it wasn't affecting me like it did when I first got diagnosed. After educating myself, I've always been a protector of anyone else who has gone through similar and an advocate and educator to anyone who has expressed stereotypical or negative views on the matter.
My skin is thick but somehow today really surprised me, it brought up so many emotions. Maybe because it's been 10 years... it feels like the first time again. Now that I've typed this out and kind of got it all off my chest, I'm feeling slightly better. Tomorrow will be a new day and one day closer to being symptom free.