u/Independent-Belt-788

I’ve been struggling making it to work and today was one of those days. I just couldn’t bring myself to walk inside the building.

Everybody in my family has my location so they know whether or not I go to work and if I don’t go they immediately question what I’m doing and what was the reason for not going to work so here I am at my jobs parking lot, pounding some buzz balls waiting for the “end” my shift and yeah, I could probably go to work, but it wouldn’t be safe and I just don’t wanna deal with putting up the facade today.

This definitely feels like a sort of rock bottom and I hate lying to everyone, but it’s just the frame of mind I’m in right now.

I work at a warehouse and my soon to be fiancee is a working professional with so much ahead of her. I cant help but think she deserves better. If only she knew what I was actually doing rather than working. I can’t take my phone into work for “security” reasons so lying is a lot easier since my location is always in the car anyways.

Chairs guys ya’ll help me out more than you will ever know

Morning fellow patriots! As a fellow CA this weekend is the best, I get to binge drink with no-one batting an eye.

Was at my gf’s grandmas house all day pounding white-claws and everyone is just OK with it.. god I love America.

Worried about today though, have plans with a friend that has terminal health problems believe it or not, and I want to be present for him, but fuck. This shit has a hold on me.

We’re gonna watch the FRA v PAR game. I told him to call me when he wakes up and I know he’s an early riser so my doom is coming soon. I just don’t want to let him down again, but that’s par for the course at this point.

I made it to work all week for once, even got some OT. So overall it’s okay. My gf is just on the brink of leaving me bc she wants me stop drinking, but the warmth of the bottle is too inciting at the moment. Also! Now that I remember I was driving my lady home and on the way I threw up all over myself, so that definitely solidified her choice. I can’t bring myself to care about anything at the moment though. Take care of your fingers this weekend degens! CHAIRS.

Morning team! Happy father’s day to all of you degenerate fathers out there. Just know that you are appreciated regardless of your affliction. Only because you didn’t personally wrong me lol.

Spain and Saudi game just started, got my gin and juice poured up, and don’t got work until 10 tonight! It’s gonna be a good day. CHAIRS!

I know I’m not alone in this, anyone else a crazy hypochondriac in every other aspect of their life but still allow themselves to be internally annihilated by booze.

I recently had bloodwork done and the results were a mixed bag lol. Everything else in my body was fine except my liver (duh). Doc said nothing to worry about BUT stop drinking unless I want my symptoms to worsen. I definitely feel it pressing against my other organs but I’m degen and refuse to let some dude with a white coat to tell me to stop!

Jk in all seriousness, the mental gymnastics i have to do in my head to justify my self destruction are insane. BUT judging by the numbers I should be fine… for the time being. But the world cup is on and it has genuienly helped me keep a level head through this tumultuous time.

Anyways fuckers, go MEXICO!!! CHAIRS 🍻

Edir:grammar sorry I’m blitzed

There’s quite literally nothing worse then coming back home to your parents house after a 5 day bender as a 27 year old . I got to the front door just as my mom was taking my little brother to school. And i know they know. Sometimes i wonder what my mom tells him on the way to school lol.

Called off of work all week and ignored all of my responsibilties for absolutely no reason other then to drink vodka with my gfs dad. He’s definitely an enabler but i enjoy the bonding experience we have sometimes.Somehow the topic of religion got brought into the middle of the bender and that triggered a masssive screaming match in between us. All is well now, but it for sure ruined the mood for a few hours lol. But now I’m back in bed nursing a bottle of titos and listening to alice in chains unplugged trying to fight this overwhelming feeling of doom and despair. CHAIRS GUYS!