u/Independent-Day7522

My partner and I have been together for a few years. He shares children with his ex and they still currently live together, although they’ve been separated for a long time. The living situation has dragged on for various reasons and has honestly been a source of stress and uncertainty throughout our relationship.

Recently, one of his children accidentally mentioned that the ex bought my boyfriend 2 tickets to a gig for his birthday back in February, which includes free kids passes. The gig is coming up soon and I only found out about it now, months later.  

For context: music/gigs are a huge part of our relationship. We go to concerts together all the time, it’s “our thing,” and it’s also a band we both love. So naturally I asked why he never mentioned the tickets or thought to invite me.

His response was that he didn’t think his ex expected to go, but that inviting me would feel like “a slap in the face” to her. He said she’d bought the tickets as a gift “from the children,” and that technically he could take anyone.  He said the reason there are two tickets is because it's one free child per ticket, although I don't know how true this is.

What upset me wasn’t really the ticket itself. It was hearing that openly taking me — his actual partner — felt disrespectful to his ex, while nobody seemed to recognise how uncomfortable or disrespectful the situation felt from my side.

This also came shortly after a conversation where he described himself as “living in between,” referring to his living situation, but honestly it feels emotionally true as well. I often feel like he’s trying to avoid upsetting his ex even when it hurts me (there have been many occasions of this), and I’m left stuck in this emotionally ambiguous place where I’m not fully integrated into his life.

He thinks I’m massively overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing. From his perspective it’s just one gig and he says he includes me in everything else.

Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt by this?