… she’s always been this way. Everything has to be about her and if it’s not how she wants things she’ll scapegoat the person that is saying no due to boundaries.
I’ve distanced myself over the last several years because it’s incredibly draining mentally and emotionally. It got to a turning point when I started getting panic attacks before and after they would visit. She because a monster MIL when we had our first daughter (she only has sons) and she finds opportunities to try an insert experiences for herself that would normally only be appropriate for mother daughter.
I had to insert myself over a boundary over one such incident recently and explained that it was something that should be experienced as mother / daughter first , if not ever. She has been love bombing ever since - assuming she will try and insert herself as an added invitee to such things in the future.
My husband calls once a week and he doesn’t often get to say a huge amount. It’s all about her and she loves to make comments that are subtly negative / passive aggressive about others.
I also had a few years where she was a real nasty person towards me and behind my back too… but she seems to see now that it gets her no where but far away from her grandchildren…, it’s difficult to unsee that person / mask that she hides behind now.
Can anyone else relate to long term work with a MIL like mine?