Some sick joke, right?
I’m a 27yo female. Grew up with no siblings, no dad, just a (Bi-P-Nar) Reddit won’t let me call my mother what she is diagnosed with ) mom with extreme aggressive tendencies and delusions. Every day was hours of getting beaten and yelled at, then given gifts, then beaten and yelled at again multiple times throughout the day. This caused me to develop a pretty bad case of BPD that I have just now got out of-
Now to the sick joke. Having BPD made it very lonely for me as a child and still to this day. I have no friends, my circle isnt small-it’s a nonexistent. My birthday is on May 8th which always falls on Mother’s Day weekend and even sometimes on Mother’s Day it itself. I haven’t talked to my mom in over six years. I have a fiancé, so the little amount of human interaction I get is from his family- who are super religious while I’m an atheist. I know beggars can’t be choosers but it’s infuriating being talked about their god every day when their god let me be harmed as a child so badly.
Anyways - I have extreme amounts of birthday trauma from never getting a birthday party or having friends and always getting beaten on my birthday or having to give my abuser gifts etc. Now my birthday is completely forgotten, overshadowed, overlapped by a day that is meant to be celebrating my abuser. For the past week I’ve been super depressed, I’m even more depressed today after seeing everyone last night. I give my mother-in-law gifts and it makes me feel an empty hole in my chest. Only a few people wished me happy birthday. I wish birthdays weren’t a thing, I wish they didn’t exist. I hate it.