u/Independent-Fox4958

For as long as I can remember, I've always believed I've been a "shy" person. I have notes from teachers describing me as quiet and well-behaved, and relatives describing me as "reserved." The thing is, I always wanted to have friends, but I didn't know what to do and I was ashamed! As a consequence, I became an antisocial and phobic person. I never managed to have friends, not because people were bad, but because I didn't feel trustworthy enough to form bonds! My mind became so downcast that my psychologist started giving me numerous medical certificates to skip school. I'm even afraid of having online interactions; my phobia has extended to the internet itself! I can't play cooperative or chat games. I've always had a great relationship with my mother; she's practically my only best friend. I've never hidden anything from her and have always confided my feelings to her! The doctor told me I developed an emotional dependence on her. The thing is, even though she took great care of me, she was always stubborn and irresponsible. She seriously injured her knee and went months without going to the hospital! My maternal grandmother passed away a few months ago, and fear is slowly taking over me. My mother is seeing a doctor, but seeing her sick is driving me crazy every day! I'm becoming paranoid, seeing signs in random things, and I'm having frequent stomach aches and nausea. What do you suggest? Could you please help me? I can't stand feeling this way anymore, and I have no idea what to do. I was taking medication prescribed by a psychiatrist, but I stopped, and I don't have any more prescriptions. Besides, I can't afford a psychologist. I can't bear to see her sick, and she doesn't want to take care of herself... Sorry for any spelling mistakes; I'm using Google Translate.