Is looking for someone with aligned values and lifestyle too high standard?
28F, find that I’ve not met any men that meet the top 3 standards I have. Also, I don’t meet many men outside of work since I don’t drink and my friends are all in relationships. I don’t think it’s ok to lower my quality of life (too much) to fit the other person in, since I’m happy with my current life. Is that unreasonable? Are my following standards (and values) too high?
Standards:
- Responsible
- Reliable
- Financial stability and independence
- Can afford the same lifestyle as I currently live, or better
- Want the same major things in life, such as location and goals
- Growth mindset and showing progress to a better life through action
- Good communication
- Friendship, have stuff to chat about thus enjoy each other’s company
- Willingness to try to understand each other’s needs
- Supportive
I hold the same standards against myself and I fulfill them myself (and the way I treat others), not sure if it’s too much to hope my SO does too?
A bit about myself:
- I live alone (homeowner) in a big city, have a high-paying stable job.
- Spent a year not dating and only to “love myself”.
- Kind, helpful.
- Good at cooking, is tidy.
- Lookwise, I’m fit (go to gym a few times a week), conventionally attractive (have had multiple men approach me and told me they find me attractive this year).
- Have only been in 1 relationship and I’m the one who wanted to break up. No kids.