Confused and needing help pls be nice
I am recently out of a relationship and interested deeply in someone in my life, their feeling is mutual and we both want to wait until we are both at a place in our lives to move forward with each other.
My struggle and confusion comes in at: I’ve considered polyamory and thought deeply the past couple years about it after considering myself monogamous for most of my life. I know I always crave something more, excitement, flirting, dates, getting to know people on a deeper level. What’s hurting and confusing me is considering this person I’m interested in being sexual with someone else (albeit we have never been sexual together, we are not together, and they have clarified themself as poly many times.)
I felt like boundaries in what we are comfortable with while actually dating someone, and while fully knowing we are not together and being okay with that, it hurts so badly knowing that this is happening and I’m unsure of what to do. Should I move on? Am I truly poly if I am not okay with the sexual aspects of it and only romantic/flirty? I’m not sure if I’m labeling myself correctly or if I would be holding back this person I love enough to never date if it means we can be in each others lives, should I move forward or communicate this? Should I act like it never happened/happens and discuss it later on when I am ready?
Please understand I’ve never posted here and I am still learning about polyamory and myself, I’m F22 and lesbian for reference.