I just want to ask, why?
Look I understand addiction and I understand some drugs are fun. This is by no means a talking down but I just want to ask you, I want to seriously ask you. How did you start letting yourself use daily at heavy doses?
Was it the same old op story of “it just took more and more until I was standing on a mountain of 300mg a day to even feel alive.”
Or was it
“I was in a hurting place and found this and it just became a destructive relation.”
I’ve dealt with grief so deep I went into my own sadness and and suffering but I just couldn’t ever allow myself to do something more than two three days and then quit for a bit as I knew I’d develop dependency. I just want to understand other people and how they fell.
I’m genuinely curious. We know what these compounds are and we’re all children of the web. Why did you let yourself use so much or do you feel like you lost control legitimately?
Why did you allow yourself to keep going after the 3rd day?