I (22 F) just had my wedding reception and I didn’t invite my “dying” dad nor did I tell him about it.
I got engaged in June of 2025, eloped in December and had this reception party this April. When my Husband proposed last June, it was posed as family photos. So his whole family was there and part of mine was there as well. This included my dad and my twin brother. My dad was diagnosed with stage four heart failure in Feb of 2025 and given a year to live. He’s still alive.
After I got engaged he told me he had saved 25k over the years to help pay for my wedding. Obviously, I’m surprised and grateful for this. He asked me to come to lunch so we can discuss, and we do. I tell him my plans and he says we’ll use 15k towards the wedding and the other 10k can go towards my husband and I’s down payment on a house. It’s important to note that I never asked for this money or his help. I never even considered this an option. In my head, my husband and I would pay for it and my sweet sweet MIL had also offered us assistance with the wedding. I don’t have much family or even family that would be able to help, so it never crossed my mind.
I start booking wedding dress try ons and venue tours. My dad goes with me to my first dress try on and when the lady asks what’s our budget he literally says “whatever she wants, I’ll write you a check”. Thankfully, I didn’t find my dress that day. My husband and I go and view a venue and decide that’s the one we want. I talk with my dad about it, and he says okay great. So I set the date that we meet with the lady to pay and it had to be my birthday. That was fine with me, but keep in mind, my birthday is my favorite day ever, next to Christmas. So that day, I wake up and get ready. My dad’s not answering my calls or texts. I start to worry because he’s sick, ya know. The appointment time is getting closer and I haven’t heard anything. Finally, he calls me. He says he had a heart attack at the bar last night and hes still at the hospital. He has lied to me before and the whole conversation was off putting. So I get a bad feeling. I call the hospital he claimed to be at and all the ones surrounding. He wasn’t there, and never was. Idk about where you guys live, but where I do. They’re allowed to tell you yes or no. So he lied to me, on my birthday to get out of going to the venue to pay. This day quickly turned awful but I still tried to be optimistic.
After days of back and forth, he finally meets me and writes me a check to take to the venue. We have lunch and he gives us the check. After what already happened, we wanted to make sure the check was good. It was not good. I was able to find out that the money was never there. There wasn’t even 2000 in the account. What the f. But I told him the check wasn’t working and he made up excuse after excuse. And then, stopped responding to me for like a week. So I called in a welfare check because let’s not forget HES DYING. He texted me after they went to his house and said “I’m alive”.
My husband and I end up paying for the venue, my dress, and we still got our house. All without the help my father promised.
My dad and I at some point get into a huge fight because he then wanted to claim that the IRS took all of his money. Which is a lie because let’s remember that THE MONEY WAS NEVER THERE. like come one dude. This fight causes us to stop talking for some time and then we’re talking again. And he never apologized, just acted like it never happened. Which was fine until it all set in. And I started to resent him. And he got a new girlfriend and she’s evil and gross too. And every time I’ve invited him to anything, he asked if her and her kids can come💀 and the answer will always be no.
This woman is a dirty alcoholic. He divorced my step mom while she had breast cancer and was dying because she was an alcoholic. She wan an alcoholic because he used to beat her when I was a child. I witnessed this. So I will never like any girl he brings around.
Like I said I don’t have much family so I invited my brother, my 4 cousins, my mom, and aunt to this reception. My brother and cousins are the only ones who came. That’s fine with me, my mom, aunt, and dad did drugs their whole life so they’re insanely hard to handle anyways.
I post the pictures on my socials and my dad sees them. He texts me with bullshit basically. I’ll just insert the messages. He never messaged me back. It’s been 2 or 3 days I think
Am I in the wrong?
Also feel free to ask questions, bc I could say so much more but it’s already long.
EDIT/UPDATE: 4/27
I really have no update besides the fact he never texted me back. Which is fine because I’m totally content with NC. There are quite a few comments saying that I shouldn’t go NC because he’s dying. I’ve come to the conclusion that that is also up in the air. So I’m not going to base my decision upon his health. And frankly, I never was anyway. I’ve tried for a very long time to figure out wth is wrong with him. He’s been this way since I was a child. For a little fun context, I don’t see him or talk to him for 6 years (ages 9-15). So when we got back in contact, I always had a sense of false hope.I know, very naive and stupid of me. But that is no longer something I have. And I believe that’s why I feel so strongly about this and trust myself with my decision.
Thank you guys so much for ur kind words and similar stories. It mean the world. And at the end of the day, parents suck.